Ramblings of a Southern Belle

Wow its been a while!!

2009-06-23T23:24:00.002-05:00

Didn't realize I had been MIA for so long!! Life has been, well, life ;-) Spring came in with a vengeance... and went away just as fast. Sad. Very sad. Gradual warm up to summer, no. It literally went from 75 to 95 in a few days. Spending hours outside is no longer possible with 108 heat indexes.

May's spending ended fairly well. The last 2 days I found a few of those milly grain bug things. Necessary spending I deemed it - but I blew all the savings we had built that month. Not to mention spent a week solid cleaning and vacuuming every area of the house every day and checking and putting all of our food into various Lock and Lock containers. Pretty sure I kept that company in business for at least one more month Haha! Happy to report though that I have not found any recently, but still keeping up the almost daily vacuuming - take no chances!!

June of course was busy with Kristofer's birthday. My boy is 11 now. Reality check for me - he's almost a teenager!! Gasp! Shock!! NOOOO!!! He decided to have a water balloon fight party. 3 hours, 5 people and 900 water balloons later we were ready for the 10 minute fight between 10 boys - oh and lets not forget the 12 gallons of water for the water guns ;-) It was a ton of fun, not soon to be repeated. Then was Jasmine's Angel Day (the anniversary of her heart surgery), which is always a reminder of how many blessings we have had bestowed upon her and us, individually and as a family. Shes a pretty amazing little girl, Miss Independent that she is. Baseball went very well this year - our boys were League Champs!! Very exciting season!! Kristofer has big decisions to make for next year though - its starts the years when he has to prove himself to be able to play. We'll see what he chooses to do.

Which brings us back to doe doe doe... Yea, we watched THAT movie recently :-) Hopefully we can get the house back together tomorrow. I was sick for 2 days, thinking it was nasty allergies, but apparently not since all of the children have now cycled through it (Belle being the last). Then its starting to prepare for vacation(s). Off to Texas in August and So Cal hopefully in Sept/Oct. Much to do, not much time :-) So off to bed I go, perhaps I can accomplish much tomorrow... we'll see :-)

When the clouds lift away

2009-05-18T23:57:00.006-05:00

A quick update on the "Spend Free Month".

Last week was good!! I didn't spend a single extra dime!! Yay!! Until yesterday and today... Yesterday I found a magnetic dry erase calendar on clearance for $7 (saved $3). Since moving here I have been going crazy not having my "brain wall" - the pegboard, calendar, monthly menu, bill board, ect. I think this will combine a few of those needs.

Today - It was a gloriously beautiful day! Oh so wonderful - 70's with not a cloud in the sky! Very much needed after literally 3 weeks of rain. So the morning was spent outside, in for lunch and naps. Mr Man decided it was a great day to go fishing... with a ball game later in the evening, that meant no time for dinner prep. Instead we brought drinks to the ballpark (saved $6) and spent $10 on a ballpark dinner.

Total extras for Month: $21

Not to shabby - hoping to keep this up for the rest of the month. Then to keep it around for a little longer, although maybe not as drastic. I spent every dime of the grocery budget, plus $10 left over from week before last... what can I say, cokes were on sale! I just dont think its realistic for me to always be under $125/wk. I'll get lucky and get a few weeks, but the majority of the time I am between $110-$125. Oh and I did make tortillas again... and am contemplating a tortilla press LOL!! After 6 tortillas my arms are tired and I dont want to finish the last 2... or maybe its a mental thing since I know we only need 3... Regardless - I leave you with photos from the day.

The girls decided the drive needed more rocks...

Their big brother...?? No, he wasnt there breaking his back helping...

Their little brother thought it was all pretty funny from where he was seated...

Then off on Another Great Fishing Expedition - Jazmine not about to be left out...

My she really does think she is a big girl...

Picking a flower for daddy... Brother is again, playing the DS in the van...

Until Mr Man brought out his fishing pole...

Takes me back

2009-05-14T23:32:00.005-05:00

Lil D is 3 months old, 12 weeks. The same age Jazmine was when we found out she had heart problems. Its funny how vivid it all still is. There are things that I have forgotten, but there is more that I'm sure I will never forget. Almost 2 years later and I am still trying to work through it all. That first year was survival, there was to much else to focus on. I couldn't (wouldn't?) think about it in depth. My conscious mind wouldn't go there, and I think my sub-conscious knew not to go there. Now that we're mostly 'on the other side', and we have another little, I find my mind pondering on it more.

All of this, of course, occurred to me on Mothers day. I've been loving on them a little more this last week. (Not that I usually don't, but its been different this week.) Jazmine was Lil D's age when she was forced to wean. That is one of those moment when I wished I would have known it was one of those moments, I would have held on to that moment just a little longer, looked at her a little harder, breathed a little deeper, engraving that moment in my mind. I would have told the cardiologist "another 5 minutes and she will be finished", instead of happily saying "oh sure, she should be ok for a little bit". In those next 10 minutes, a whirlwind came along that would change our lives forever.

There isn't much difference when looking at Jazmine and Lil D - except Lil D is a big ole chunk {grin} She was, and still is, just as smiley as he is. With the cutest little upturned nose. She had just learned to roll from belly to back when we entered the hospital, which she forgot and had to relearn at 6 months old. Lil D doesn't have any interest on being on his belly. He did for about 2 weeks, but quickly lost interest. She was almost 9 months old when she finally reached the weight he is now - and boy did we work for every single ounce on her little body!! Another strange thing - changing a baby diaper on a baby that doesn't have an "Angel scar" (as we call it). I know that sounds funny, but Jazmine was wearing 3-6 months clothes until she was a year old - she was that small for that long - size wise it was like having a baby baby for a year.

God has blessed us more then I can ever say. As funny as it sounds, we are so thankful that it was only ASD, VSD and a CoArc. I can't even pretend to understand the whys, just pray we learned what we were supposed to learn, and whoever else it was for learned their lesson as well. No doubt I will be thinking about this a lot the next month as we creep our way to the anniversaries again. I know it will get better as the years go on, but I hope to always celebrate the time when God and our angel chose for her became a little girl.

What day is it??

2009-05-11T21:11:00.006-05:00

Its been one of those weeks - you know where you wake up on Tuesday thinking its Monday and then BAM its Friday... Much of my computer times this week has been dedicated to other things - making a photo book for my rather ill grandmother (which of course meant playing with using Paint Shop to fix photos ahem) and making a new budget/debt/savings plan forecast. Book is done and should have been received today - hope they like it!

As for the budget... yea, not so easy unfortunately. I love crunching the numbers and figuring out how to make it work. The problem comes in when things get messed up and I lose my focus and get discouraged - then I have to get fed up and decide (again) that by golly, this time its going to stick.

Confession time - Last year, during that whole moving thing, I slacked on my Grocery Game shopping and ran through the stockpile. The last 4 months I raised our grocery budget to accommodate rebuilding the stock. Now I am mostly restocked and its time to get serious again. Plus we've taken quite a few hits to the savings with it being the slow time, the RV fund was sacked because of all the lawyer fees (long story that I'm not sure I can blog about yet). Not. Good. At. All.

So I'm getting mean with the budget and have decided the best/easiest thing would be to declare May as Spending Free. Like the opposite of a Spending Spree - get it ;-) The goals:

Do all shopping and errands one day per week

Keep the grocery budget under $100/week - $30 for needs and $70 to round out the stock with all those organic/staple things that I have to get at other stores - if I buy more when I do go I will have to go less often, thus saving more money!!

$15/week for gas

Spend a lot more time at home - Gotta... keep... me... out... of... stores... Actually that's not really the killer. The killer is going to walmart for one $5 thing and walking out having spent $20. Or running errands and stopping to get everyone drinks and fries ($15). Or not planning ahead and eating dinner at the ball park ($15). Which, of course, individually doesn't hurt all that bad, when you do each one 1-2 times a week... it adds up quickly.

No eating out this month - keep to the menu!

Make most of our bread products (hamburger buns, tortillas, rolls, biscuits) Still working on the sandwich bread thing, hopefully can find a suitable one this month with all that home time we'll have LOL

Last week was very good - the only extra: I bought 2 sweet teas at the ball park ($4). This week is going well (considering its only Monday Haha!). This week I did go over $25 in groceries - the big killer was a new vacuum. After milking every last bit of life out of our current one I decided using the broken vacuum was just not viable or safe anymore. Seriously, if I had to hold the button in while wearing gloves because it would get so hot, it was probably a fire risk, right?? Someone should really talk to Hoover about this whole "disposable" vacuum thing. I know we are rough on them, using it daily with all the littles and a dog, but you know spending $150 every year on a vacuum just gets old. Ooh but if I can somehow make it last 15 months before buying a new one, I'm really sticking it to them... right... right?! Ok, so its a personal protest since I guess me not buying a vacuum really isnt going to dent their bottom line... Humph. Ah well, I like the new one so far. The only bad thing about new vacuums - all that dirt they pull up when you really thought the other one was working so well... {shutter}

Happy Mothers Day

2009-05-10T23:04:00.006-05:00

My Babies - The ones that made me a mama - The ones that make me try harder everyday to be what they need me to be, to be who God wants me to be...

It all started with Kristofer...

4 years later, Heaven came along...

21 months later, Belle joined the crew...

2 years later, Jazmine taught us much...

Then God decided we weren't done yet, and 23 months later, David came along...

One big...

chaotic family :-)

And I wouldn't have it any other way :-)

BTW - Mr Man got me the Wii Fit - it is totally awesome and I *highly* recommend it to everyone!! What could be better then having a personal trainer "be" with you... inside your air conditioned house with the fan blowing on you ;-)

To all the mamas - Happy Mothers Day!!

7 Quick Takes - Edition 2

2009-05-01T00:36:00.004-05:00

Today was the first day out for us since last Sunday! Shocking, I know! Its been raining all week so games have been canceled. Plus I've really been trying to curb my spending - if I don't go out I cant spend money, right?? Guess I could order online, but that takes all the fun out of shopping...

Pretty sure we've settled on calling Lil D "Trey"... we're gonna try it out for a few days and see if it fits. I was concerned that it might be a bit to trashy, but we've gotten a lot of good feed back from it, so we'll try it out.

I think we are going to try Alpha Omega's Switched on Schoolhouse for Kristofer next year. Mostly because it does all the correcting for me. I hate that part. Actually, hate isn't strong enough... Also looking at Rosetta Stones Spanish instead of French like I originally wanted. We decided that was probably the better choice. After 2 years of Spanish we can do French. I also need to get a spelling program, I've put it off long enough LOL

A bit of perspective...

I have the "outside itchies" LOL In other words, I sooo want to be outside doing outside stuff... really wishing I had a garden at this point. But alas, I will just have to settle with laying out while the children play ;-) Wow, I can hear the gasps already - you *gasp* lay out?! In the sun?! Uh yea. Here's another shocker - I *very rarely* ever put sunscreen on my children *eyes bugged out* Yea I'm of the thinking that God knew what He was doing when He made the whole sun/human body thing - not so trusting in slathering my children with Lord only knows what chemicals and metals. Weird I know...

So how about that swine flu eh?? Interesting stuff I guess would be the nicest thing to say about it Haha Thankfully with having a heart baby I've already read how scary the regular flu can be, so preparing for this isn't much different then what we do normally during the winter... except this one will last a bit longer. We'll have to see what it does this fall/winter since that's probably when it will really hit hard. If it does turn pandemic, I just have to keep us all healthy for the next 2-3 years... Ha! Like that's not a daunting task ;-P

I need more focus in my life. This week the children and I came up with a new routine/schedule thing and I am going to start doing weekly goals again... There are some things I really want to focus on that just aren't getting done. I need to come up with a reward system though - yea I'm just as bad as a kid - I need a reward to do my Pilate's everyday ;-) It needs to be something cheap or free though since I am on a "Spending Free" this month, but that's for another post... Maybe we can do it as a family - if we all do our weekly goals we can do/go... yea, I don't know. Something else for me to think about over the weekend - I'll report back when I figure it out ;-)

Adventures in grinding

2009-04-30T23:15:00.001-05:00

Don't ask me why, but I *desperately* wanted a grain mill for Christmas. And I mean desperately. We were able to come up with the money and I became the proud new owner of a NutriMill. YAY!!

Hrmm... now what??

Well I knew my family would not eat regular wheat bread, however we have been eating whole white wheat bread for the longest time. The problem?? Not a single store around here had hard white wheat berries in their store - nor were they able to order it! Not - A - One!

Aye!

Off to the WWW - you can find anything online right?? Of course I found it - everywhere - which brought up the next issue - sure the wheat was only $30 for 50 pounds but do you know how much shipping was?! In most cases it was more then the wheat - ouch!! Finally I found a place - $45 for 50 pounds - not bad. The kicker - you had to order 200 lbs and then you also got free shipping!! I save up and buy it. 200 *pounds* of wheat!! Finally!! After 3 months of having the grinder I am able to use it :-) And needless to say I'm not all that upset when I make a new recipe and the family doesn't like it :-P

The first recipe I made was from the Urban Homemaker - the rolls were just like the Dixie Cafe rolls - made you wish you had some honey and whipped butter (which BTW I just learned how to make from scratch and will be trying soon!). The second batch was from Everyday Food Storage - again, the hamburger buns (yes I made my own - check the site above for info on how - way easy!) were very good, but still not sure about it for sandwich bread. We'll have to try them both again I think.

Then I got the brilliant idea to try making cornbread - off to Whole Foods for some popcorn and baking powder - chili and cornbread was suddenly on the menu. Oh I love that grinder!! The coolest part is I can store the "whole" version that doesn't go bad and then just grind up what I want *when* I want. Seriously, if you know me, you would know that I get on kicks - I'll get into a baking thing and bake like everyday for a month. Then nadda for like 2 months. Not good to go on a baking strike when you have 25lbs of fresh bought flour!

As if all that wasn't Martha Stewart enough, one week at the store I was floored - do I really spend $3 every week for 8 tortillas?! Surely I can do that too right?? I mean goodness, if its a staple in the poorest areas of Central America it shouldn't need special tools right?? So I Google (again Haha!) about tortillas and decide they aren't that hard. Let me tell you - they are SOO much yummier when made at home!! Mr Man said they didn't leave that "funky" after taste that store bought does - so another winner!! Be forewarned though - rolling out the dough will give you great arms ;-)

MIL has been laughing... at me or with me, not real sure... but she says I'm like the Little Red Hen... having no idea who that was I was off to Google again (yea I use it all the time LOL) and found the story... ok, guess I can see her reference...

Shopping with 5 children

2009-04-29T16:20:00.000-05:00

Shopping with children, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

For some reason I get this all the time - how do I shop with all the children. Two words:

Duck tape and handcuffs.

Ok, maybe that's four words...

I have to be honest - if I have a choice I will leave as many at home as possible or I will take back up with me (Haha!). Really its simple - I give as little room as possible for walking around, which is why I try so hard to put them in buggies. If H walks then B wants to walk - and frankly when grocery shopping I just don't want to have to constantly deal with who is where. Walmart and Kroger have those HUGE buggies that I can put the 3 girls in the "big kid" riding part, the baby goes in the normal baby seat area. There are times when my heathens, err, children, are not cooperating and I have to do 2 buggies - the two older girls go into one buggy, with J in the seat then Lil D and the groceries go in the other buggy that K pushes. Depending on how the day is going, I will let one big girl walk and they will switch half-way through the store.

The worst stores are the ones like above - The Fresh Market and Whole Foods. At this point, given the picture above, I think I can safely admit to bribing them. The Fresh Market gives cookies and Whole Foods has a snack bucket at checkout. Not sure which theory I like better - the cookie keeps them entertained while shopping, but the snack bucket is a great "if your good" bribe...

Regardless of how many are walking, the rules are few and simple -
1 - At all times you must be touching the buggy. You let go of the buggy without permission and the 3rd time you get in the buggy - even if that means you get in the "grocery" part and have groceries piled on you. So if you hear "I'm getting squished" its probably one of mine ;-) I give 3 times because I know they are children and they get excited (read: forget the rules) when they see something... like a display of "Try Me" chips at Whole Foods... especially if they are the puffy cheese ones...
2 - They each get a few minutes to push the buggy then they switch - if you walk to far away or run into something because you weren't paying attention, you lose your privilege to push a buggy.

If all else fails - look at them and (loudly) say "Where is your mother?!" and try to slink away...

Time management is not my forte

2009-04-24T14:46:00.005-05:00

This week on Finding Freedom is about Time Management. A concept I grasp but is really hit or miss for some reason. Something always seems to throw us off. As one blogger wrote - at times I find myself "not being a stay at home mom, but a mom without a job".

I quit my job when I was 41 weeks pregnant with Heaven, our second. Actually, they forced me onto maternity leave. I was completely happy bartending, they were scared I'd birth there... regardless, I never quite made it back. When I quit working I suddenly had so much time!! It was *amazing*!! I had all day to play with K and clean the house and cook dinners (albeit usually some sort of Helper, I hadn't quite gotten what "cooking" was yet at 21). It was amazing!! After she was born it took some arraigning but we found a groove. A year later I was pregnant with Issabelle and all that tiredness set it - we lost the groove. Then a week before she was due Mr Man ripped every tendon and ligament in his knee rendering him immobile until his surgery - 6 weeks away. I had Belle, a week later David had his surgery and I did my best juggling a 1st grader, a toddler, a newborn and a broken husband. It didn't work so well - I fell into PPD. That year is pretty much a blur. Eventually I was able to snap myself out of it thankfully. It was around that point I stopped pressuring myself onto a "schedule" thing and started "routines" - an order, a natural progression, to which things happen regardless of what time it is. Success!!

Mr Man then decides that we were going to buy a house... Aye yi yi. If you've never bought a house - the word 'stress' does not come close to describing it. In an attempt to keep this short(er) - we buy a house, move, finally settle into a groove and a few months later - dun du dun - I'm pregnant again! We did fairly well keeping somewhat of a groove, we slacked a bit on schoolwork - but there is a season for everything, right? We'd get it back together after she was born... or so I thought.

God laughed at my 'routine' idea - a big hearty belly laugh. After a month in the hospital with Jazmine (and a glorious, wonderful friend that came and cleaned our ucky house so when we came home to shower it wouldn't be a mess - bless her heart, I hope it wasn't to nasty for her!!). Then started the next 18 months of mommy practically being attached to a breast pump and scheduled down to every 15 minutes of the day to give meds, bottles or pump - every hour and a half I had to start the 30 minute pumping ritual - even a 15 minute delay would throw off the entire day. Yea, lets just say, my standards dropped - dramatically! And why did I quit pumping?? Oh yea, you guessed it - I was pregnant again! Now add in another move and having that baby and that's where I am today - a complete and total mess trying to get back some sort of routine and totally bunking any thought of a 'schedule' - thank you very much, I've had enough of that nonsense ;-)

So that "season" I thought I was in 3 years ago isn't a 'season' - its this thing called MY LIFE! My life is chaotic, I accept that (most of the time). My "secret" - let go! Follow your families daily rhythms and then come up with routines - routines can be done at any time - regardless of what life throws at you. "Tweaking" the routines is a constant, especially with littles. And my other secret - lists! Write everything down that you need to accomplish that week - if it has to be that day it gets priority. By priority I mean try not to wait until midnight to do it, but 10pm is fine ;-) Now on that list include everything - all the way down to "shower" and "brush teeth" - then, no matter what you will be clean and can cross out something on the list that you accomplished!!

So here's how our day goes, assuming we get up at 9am (sometimes its closer to 10am):

9am - wake up, breakfast, dressed, (I have already nursed in the bed before getting up), morning briefing (letting everyone know what the plans for the day are)
10am - K unloads the dishwasher then everyone starts school work, mommy cleans the kitchen and helps whoever needs it
11am - everyone cleans up (Haha! By 'everyone' I mean Kristofer with mommy directing, at times ahem loudly for the girls to do their part, finally telling Kristofer thank you, good job), nurse at some point, outside time if everything gets done
12:30 - Lunch
1:30 - naps/quiet time - mommy cleans up, computer time, then an hour resting
3:30 - wake up, snack time
4ish - nurse, then either start dinner or start getting everyone ready for ball - this is a given no matter what wake up time is - on a good day, play outside
6pm - dinner
9-10pm - nurse, Jazmine bedtime, Mr Man usually goes to bed as well (since he gets up around 3am)10-11pm - older children go to bed
midnight (best case, usually its 1 or 2am) nurse and go to bed

Obviously, I'm not picky about bedtime - I'm a night owl - two of the children are as well, they will sleep their 8 hours regardless of what time we go to bed. Its a work in progress - we'll see how it goes when I'm schooling 3 LOL!!

Sexy aprons...?!

2009-04-21T23:30:00.001-05:00

I love aprons!! They inspire me, makes me think of all those things that I could accomplish if I had an apron - my homemakers uniform. Not to mention how adorably cute they are, reminiscent of days gone by - you know back when "prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders... respect your elders..." Oh sorry. Anyway, so off to Google I go in search of a pretty apron - because you know as perfect as I am at imitating Martha Stewart ahem I just dont have the time right now to sew one... you know in between making every meal gourmet, from scratch of course, and redecorating my entire house for under $10 and tending the 275 chickens and 5 acre garden while looking totally put together with my perfect manicure and my totally well behaved children in tow... Ha! Yea right! (Ok, truth be told, I dont do any of that - we dont even have chickens... or a garden...)

Regardless, so I find this website: http://www.carolynskitchenonline.com/index.html

Whoo hooo!! As I scroll down I think "Wow, totally cute". Then I see them - not exactly what I was expecting - totally cute! - but not sure I would ever wear a 2 piece apron - let alone *only* a 2 piece apron - although it would be a guaranteed fit with or without a poochie belly ;-) So I show Mr Man, who of course thought it was "too cute" HAHA!

Yea, think I'll continue to search for a one piece apron ;-)

2009-04-20T22:50:00.002-05:00

Its that time of year again - the weather cant decide if it wants to be 35 or 75 - super cell thunderstorms come through and cause havoc, the daffodils pop up, trees start blooming... ah yes - its ball season ;-) Gone are the days of leisurely strolling through the day, not doing schoolwork until 2 or 3, starting dinner whenever we get hungry. Yes, it is back to everything *must* be done by 4pm so dinner can be eaten, only to eat again upon returning home from the game or practice - because for some reason eating at 4:30 always causes us to be hungry again by 9. Imagine coming up with 2 "mini" dinners for each game night... or just saying screw it and eating at the ball field... Which I tend to lean to more often then I care to admit... all those "God only knows whats in them" hot dogs, nachos, popcorn, slushies, certainly nothing organic or preservative free... Ah well, guess we cant have it all all the time right??

So far we've had 3 tournaments in 2 weeks - which translates to being at the ball field every night for 2 weeks - having Easter weekend off - then right back at it again. Getting there by 5:30 and getting home around 9 - baring its an early game of course. For those late games it's 10 before we make it home. One night last week it occurred to us - we literally have another 20 years of this!!! Twenty *YEARS*!!! How do I figure you ask - simple - K has 4 more years until its high school ball. At which time he may or may not decide to continue. Regardless, Lil D would be 4 at that time - yup you guessed it - just in time to start T-ball!

Someone asked me recently how we do it. Really its simple - its what we've always done. K was 4 when he started - the next year we had H, and every other year thereafter we've just added another babe. Its been our life since, what seems like, the beginning. What tickles me now is everyones reactions when a new season starts "OH MY! ANOTHER one!?" To which I want to reply "Well yea... we're collecting them" But of course I usually dont... because that would be... rude... or something...

Recently I was watching "What Not to Wear" - which is really a silly show - who is actually going to spend $85 for a shirt or $250 for a pair of shoes?! Regardless, they did a mom a few days ago and it got me wondering what they would do for a ball mom. Uh... yea... sorry, but there is no way any of those clothes would be "ball appropriate" - unless, of course, you dont mind ruining a pair of $250 shoes... or being miserably hot... or being way overdressed (unless its a 6pm game, then maybe you could get away with "work clothes"). Yes, you can usually tell us ball moms by our jeans and sport t-shirt. When the weather turns miserably hot, we're the ones in shorts, modified team t-shirt and flip flops with our hair pulled up and "sunglass" tan.

Ball bags, hats, cleats, hit sticks, concession stand duty, snack duty, tournaments, endless small talk with all the parents you've ever been on a team with, oh and dont forget the "magic bag" filled with first aid kit (someones bound to need something), chalk, bubbles, colors and coloring books, wipes, snacks and drinks - anything to keep the littles entertained for 3 hours - starting the season bundled up with blankets and ending with it so hot you wish they would install sprinkler systems above the bleachers - yelling silly thing from the stands "feet, feet", "next ones yours", "DIG DIG DIG", "3 up, 3 down", "oh come on Blue" and the ever infamous "Rally, rally rooster...", even cheering for that really nice kid (on the opposing team) that was a team mate 3 years ago.

Ah yes, the life of a ball mom :-)

Menu Plan Monday

2009-04-19T21:09:00.009-05:00

I really need to get on the ball again in regards to menu planning. It sucks, I really dont like it - I'm just not that creative to come up with a list of meals from all the stuff in my stock and pantry/freezer. Goodness knows I could probably make a million different meals, but for some reason I am stuck with the same 30 we've been eating for the last 6 months. Oh well, until that magic Menu Fairy arrives, the family will have to deal with my lack of creativity in meal planning... or Mr Man decides to get creative (which he does on occasion!). Couple that with the fact that we have ball games 3 nights this week plus Saturday morning...

Monday
Muffins
Sandwiches
Tacos

Tuesday
Struddles
Mac and Cheese
Roast

Wednesday
Muffins
Sandwiches
Baked Ziti

Thursday
Oatmeal
Pigs in a Blanket
Chicken (marinaded in something LOL)

Friday
Cereal
Sandwiches
COTF (clean out the fridge - aka leftover night)

Saturday
Muffins
*Out
??

Sunday
Sweet rolls
Fend for yourself (I'll be out grocery shopping)
Pork Tenderloin

I'm gonna be adventurous this week as well and make my own tortillas - and give another bread recipe a try. I'll let you know how they turn out ;-)

Shopping Totals for the Week:
Kroger - Target - Walgreens - Walmart
Shelf Price: $260
Out of Pocket (spent): $115
Savings: $145 = 56%

7 Quick Takes - Edition 1

2009-04-17T22:42:00.006-05:00

So I thought I would give this a go because frankly I don't have the mind to write a coherent blog post - I have a migraine starting in and we have to be out of the house by 8am for a ball game... so here are my 7 random thoughts from the day...

I cant get this "want to run away" thought process out of my head. At least 5 times a day I seriously contemplate selling everything and buying an RV then sitting on a beach somewhere for a few months. Or just traveling around until we find "our spot". Somewhere. Anywhere. Just to be together as a family without all the drama and stresses that life has been bringing us the last few years. All in God's time is what I have to remind myself. Constantly.

I love nursing. No really, love I don't think is a strong enough word. After all of Jazmine's trouble and literally having that stripped from me I cant help but revel in that simple act every time Lil D nurses. Its so simple and fixes almost everything baby related. Something I definitely took for granted before Jazmine's issues. To see the look of contentment on their little face as they drift off to sleep with a full belly and a dribble of milk in the corner of their mouth. Or the big ole milky toothless smile. So amazing!

Mr Man informed me we have coyotes in the area - that's the "weird dog howl" I've been hearing every time I take our dog out at night. Hrm... scary. Yea I've made the executive decision that the children are absolutely not allowed to be outside unsupervised. He said we had them at the other house and they wont bother us unless we intimidated them... but the other house had an 8 foot privacy fence. Surly even a wild animal would weigh his choices and decide that was just to much work for not enough meat... right...?? Just another reminder that I am way to "city" to live in the country... either I need to bring some city out here or we need some land in the city. Regardless this "country living" thing is a LOT harder mentally then I imagined!!

It occurred to me today that the girls have not asked for the toys I put away in January. Such a source of contention for me as all the toys would get dumped out of the buckets. Daily. One day I "snapped" and took most of the buckets and put them up, inaccessible to the littles. Not once since that day have they asked for them! Not once! Not saying the room has stayed any more clean, but its much easier to pick up since there are only a few categories of toys. Wondering what else I could slip away unnoticed...

I am beginning to believe there is a Laundry Monster. Seriously - hear me out. How is it that I can do 2 loads a day. Everyday. Have ALL of the laundry done - basket empty and all clothes off all the floors. Yet somehow, after all that laundry is folded and put away I let out a big "Ahhh" for having kept it under control one more week. Only to turn and find a laundry basket full?! Such was the case again today. Sigh. The only explanation I can come up with is there is simply a Laundry Monster of some sort - you know the opposite of a Laundry Fairy that does the laundry - and this big mean oogly eyed monster dirties laundry just so he doesn't have to see an empty basket. That has to be it...

We apparently bought a Suburban. Mr Man's boss bought it to sell to us... I am mixed on this. Its great and wonderful that he was thinking about us, but I feel pressured into buying it when we really dont need it. I've grown to like my van with 4 in car seats, thankful that Mr Man dragged me kicking and screaming to it... Lets not even touch the money issue - tax time is the slow time - now is not the time to have to come up with that much extra money. Yet at the same time, it would be big enough to tow a travel trailer, pluses and minuses either way (RV or trailer), but still the possibility of travel is there.

Arkansas Tea Party 2009

2009-04-16T12:56:00.002-05:00

It wasnt huge like Atlanta, we didnt have any huge names or a lot of press coverage. It was uplifting though, it gave hope that maybe we, as Americans, can band together and really get the change that was campaigned for. I could go on and on about the political and economic effects from all these bail outs, but I'm sure most people know and agree. Our Tea Party was put together at the last minute, but we had a great turnout for the short notice. Funny personal note here - the girls wore dresses... apparently I didnt explain what this Tea Party was well enough LOL Oops...

For those around here, they are organizing another for June 15 - http://www.arkansasteaparty.com/ to stay informed on location/time.

God Bless America!!

I am THAT mom

2009-04-13T23:42:00.007-05:00

You know that one that everyone looks at and says "Wow, she has it all together!" Her hair is done, her makeup done, she always looks put together. Her house is clean. Her children neat and well behaved. Her homeschool is organized and in order. Always has homemade treats, her food is the same - homemade and oh so good.

Oh thats not me, sorry, must have dozed off.

No, I am the one that tries to do it all, and at times succeeds, but more often fails - miserably. No, in reality, I am that mom that stands in the living room and throws a tantrum - complete with feet stomping and loud sobs because there is green fabric paint all over the new yellow Children's Place dress (note to all: rubbing alcohol and a lot of patience and q-tips - dab, dip, dab, dip). I am that mom in the grocery store that you get tired of hearing say "Sit, soft touches, hands in the buggy, no, thank you, hands to yourself, good job, does it have a coupon, no, no, no, no...STOP!" I am that mom that at times just gets frustrated and snaps out "I'm going to throw all your clothes away if you dont keep them picked up".

Yet still, with all of my faults, my children love me and tell me I am the greatest mom ever.

How does that happen?! How is it that they can look past my short commings, look passed my way to often loudness, look passed my tantrums and love me and want to be with me, when at times *I* dont want to be around me??

Amazing. So thankful. To have a child's heart, to be able to forgive and forget so easily.

To say I'm sorry for having a not so good moment/hour/day/week, to curl up on the couch together and snuggle. To give kisses all around. To forgive myself and really try to do better next time, knowing we are all learning together. Yeah, I am that mom.

Oops Haha!

2009-04-08T23:49:00.003-05:00

So here I've been thinking I'd posted... only to find out all those posts were still saved as Drafts :-P Oops. Sorry about that :-)

So life around here has been, well, unchanged - which is a good thing ;-) I've learned its really hard to blog while holding a baby. Its not so hard to type one handed when its just a little bit, but a full blog post is a bit harder LOL

I have my good days and I have my bad days. I admit I am still struggling with finding contentment with where we are, but everyday its getting better. We have been thinking a lot about our options. I'm not sure I really want to start the whole house thing again. I know it probably sounds crazy but I really have this desire, almost an achy desire to travel. Just pack the family up and travel, see where we go and where we end up. The easiest/best way for us to do that would be to buy an RV and doing the house thing would hinder that. I dont know what the future holds for us, waiting on God to let us know ;-) My current thought process is that maybe we can buy a small RV to do some light traveling in, maybe that might fix my travel bug (or make it worse LOL!). I want to go to Texas and Cali this year so all of my family can see our children. Of course I dont know if we can really save enough the next few months to buy one plus save for the trips, but I'm going to do my best.

I've also been struggling with having a servants heart. While for the most part I dont have problems with it, there are certain situations taht really test me. Unfortunately these situations have been coming up a lot lately. I do what I am supposed to do, but it hasnt been with a happy heart, which is what I need to work on. I guess I should be thankful for those situations as it makes me think about my actions and attitude, makes me work on myself, which is always a good thing right?? ;-)

On a good note - I am loving all these children!! I cant help but marvel at how blessed we are. Lil D is the such a blessing, the little pudge LOL It really does just amaze me at how big he is and have taken to calling him a hunk of chunk LOL I can sit here and hold him for hours on end. You would think though after having J stay the size of a baby for so long I wouldnt be so baby crazy, but theres just something about a baby isnt there?? There is so much I need to do, but I just dont want to put him down, I figure it will be here tomorrow still so whats the rush right?? LOL Well tomorrow we really do have to fold laundry and clean up my room, do something with some boxes and figure out what needs to go to the storage unit... which means we have to go clean out the storage unit LOL!

Oh well, I'm just rambling, ought to go to bed...

David Michael

2009-03-25T23:50:00.015-05:00

David Michael, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

So yes, baby is here!! :-) David Michael was born at home on February 10 at 9:36 pm. Weighing in at 9 lbs even and measuring 22 inches long. He was only 1 day over my 'due date' - the earliest by 2 weeks LOL Also our largest with the others being 8.8, 8.6, 8.2 and 7.8, not little babies by any means, but little compared to this little chunk :-)

The birth was mostly what I prayed for, something that I am not complaining about by far!! I am extremely grateful for the way it turned out!! It started on Monday night when I had my bloody show. I literally said "Son of a &*$%" LOL I knew what that meant - that I would have a baby in the following days, I had no idea just how soon it would be. Mentally I just wasn't totally ready. I have always 'built in' another 2 weeks since I had never gone earlier, I just knew this one wouldn't be any different. It had only been maybe 3 or 4 days that I finally got that "Ok, I'm ready to have this baby and get skinny again". Carrying 25 pounds of baby gets difficult with all the weight on the hips, not being able to walk or bend, oh that last couple weeks can be rough. So anyway, that Monday night I started trying to mentally prepare myself, I was at the end, I was going to have to birth, suck it up, deal with it and I could get on to the next phase.

Monday night I had mini hugs, enough that I felt them when I got up to potty, noticing that they came about every 10 minutes when I was awake. Thinking they would just go away I tried to get as much sleep as possible. David got up that morning and I told him to stay close, that it might be the day. I didn't think he would stay home, but he did, which was a good thing!! That morning we did all our normal stuff, but we cleaned the whole house, top to bottom. I knew we would have a baby in the next couple days, I wanted that done (still convinced that I wasn't in labor LOL). As the day went on they would taper to every 15 minutes, then every 10 minutes., the hugs never got real bad, still able to walk and talk through them. Finally about 5pm David thought it would be good to call the midwife and give her heads up, which I did, speaking with her daughter and just telling her that today might be the day. Toddled around for the next hour and then started getting real shaky and wanting to cry - for no reason at all, except knowing that's how I am in transition. So I call the midwife again at 6pm and tell her all that. Not wanting to cause a 'false alarm', I let her decide if she came or not. Funny to note - she said she'd come check me "but if I'm just at like 2 she'd go back home". Hahaha!! I laid down to nap and ignore the hugs, which worked for the most part.

She showed up around 7 pm, and I was at 7 - so much for her going home LOL So I got up and started making sure everything was out for them, tea and snacks and whatever, Finally around 8;30 or so I had to started breathing and rocking through the hugs and decided to get in the tub, I think against the midwifes desire. That was the weirdest part. The hugs were 8 minutes apart, so I would have a hug and... do da do da do... I felt like I really needed to have small talk with these ladies that are sitting in the bathroom watching me labor LOL Strange. Anyway, so when I started feeling pushy I announced it and found that baby was almost to my 2nd knuckle - which was a huge combination of super scared and super excited. Excited because I was only 1.5 inches away from having a new baby and being done with the labor/birth thing - scared because I knew what was coming. Then POP, my water broke and I panicked inside. I think David could tell because he didn't let go of my hand. Then just as quick it was those interesting 2 minutes again - that limbo of time between being pregnant and being a new mommy... and I was loud apparently LOL!!

As I was holding the new baby it occurred to me I hadnt checked LOL So a quick look and I mouthed to David "Its a boy!" A BOY! WHO HOO!!! LOL He went to get the children and told them - the girls had wanted another girl, but were totally ok with it after looking at him ;-) After a few minutes was that same issue - getting me and also him and his placenta out of the tub since we dont cut the cord for a few hours normally. But with 2 extra people this time it wasnt so bad, so we got out and sat on the birth chair while they cleaned up and he nursed. They kind of made a deal about cutting his cord then, so we did. Then we toddled to the bed where I stayed for most of the night.

So here we are 6 weeks later and I have had a lot of time to reflect on his birth. It was very different then the ones before it, obviously having had 1 full hospital birth, 1 homebirth transfer arriving at literally the last minute, and then 2 unassisted births, having a midwife and her apprentice present was another experience. For the most part it was positive, and I would totally recommend it to anyone else. For me, I wanted a midwife so I could pass off responsibility. Which for the most part you can, but in the end it is still up to mom to take care of herself and ultimately give birth. I didnt like the suggestions of what to do or not to do since I was/am fully capable of doing what I want/need to do. I did like not having to clean anything up and having the instant "heart listen". I dont know, it was another experience and he turned out healthy, birthed at home with his family around so it was good.

J

2009-03-25T23:34:00.000-05:00

J, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

So on to Miss J. She is doing great!! Had her yearly cardiologist visit when David was almost 2 weeks old. We had to leave the house by 7 am - do I even need to say how hard that was?! Let me just add we dont get up until 9am on an early day LOL!! They only did an EKG, thankfully not the whole run because she was less then cooperative LOL Dr. F said she knew how she would react so didnt order all the normal stuff, apparently most 2 year olds have an issue with it ;-) J was having issues just letting Dr F listen to her heart - imagine a full blown screaming fit LOL But everything is good so far Thank God!! We still have to keep an eye on her because of the other two issues (a re-collapse of the aorta and an extra 'flap' of heart muscles inside that throws off blood flow) but Dr F said there is no reason to limit anything!! Yay!!! So while there I went ahead and asked how concerned I needed to be about Lil D and she checked and said she saw no reason for concern - Another yay and Praise God!!! I also asked for another swallow study, which was scheduled for 2 weeks later. (For those that dont know/remember - during her surgery her left vocal cord was paralyzed- the vocal cord is what keeps liquid from "going down the wrong tube" and into your lungs. With it being paralyzed liquids just went straight into her lungs but she was able to drink if we thickened it first to a honey consistency then to a nectar consistency. It normally takes 6 months to 3 years to regrow a vocal cord.)

So at the swallow study they sit in a high chair type thing with a video x-ray machine and drink or eat barium. The video is actually quite cool, even though it is a nasty machine of radiation. I had to (once again) be the difficult parent and tell them she was to have the least amount of barium possible - they were wanting her to eat cookies dipped in barium, drink honey consistency and then nectar and then thin... All I would allow was thin since we knew she could do the others and she had been tolerating the "thin nectar" I had been doing. And the results... dun dun da dun! She is FINE and off the Simply Thick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We had to bribe her with an Oreo - bite, drink nasty strawberry-apple flavored barium and repeat - but hey we got it done. Do you have any idea how much of a relief this is?! Seriously!! We had to give up nursing and for almost 2 years I had to stress about somebody giving her something that wasnt thick enough, always having to make sure I had Simply Thick everywhere and in every bag - at birthday parties make sure she didnt get any ice cream or slushies or oh the list goes on!! But its all over now - Another Praise to God!!!

So for her 2nd birthday she was getting ice cream by golly - and that pic up there is her first bite of it :-) The party didnt go as planned - the theme was "Look Who's 2 Cute" - made the cake and the banner, had everything planned for a park party... and then a front decided it was going to go extra slow and not blow through the day before like it should have... so that morning it was a mad scramble to figure out what to do. Ended up having the party at Whole Hog Cafe - which was actually pretty cool - the parents ate well and the kids really just want cake and ice cream anyway ;-) A few folks ditched, but whatever. Our little miracle baby turned 2!!!

And boy let me tell you - I've never had a "Terrible Two" before - "Terrible Threes" yes, but not two. Now I wonder... LOL No really shes not that bad, just has figured out that she is like a big girl - and by golly you are going to hear her when she doesnt like something!! She still doesnt talk much beyond yea, ma, dad, papa, nan, ruff, help - but she did just start hi, hey and ah-wa-wu-ah (hallelujah) - but my goodness is she good at charades!! LOL Uh Uh Uh - oh B fell on the floor and hurt her elbow? "Yea!" LOL Everytime she does something like that I cant help but think "really Lassie - Timmy fell in the old mine shaft and needs help" Hahaha!!

She really is turning in to quite the character - I love watching their little personalities develop. She is still quite, happy just sitting and playing. Listens very well (hasnt gotten to the disobeying part yet). Really does think she is as big as her sisters and *loves* helping and holding the baby - which is really funny since he is 13 lbs and she is 21 - hes almost as big as she is. Shes also been showing interest in the potty the last month or so - understands the concept but has a slight timing issue. Now if I could just get her to eat more then mashed potato's and bananas we'd be doing good LOL

B

2009-03-25T23:33:00.000-05:00

B, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

B, what to say about her... well she is first and foremost, Daddy's Girl LOL She is the one that always asks to go fishing - but wants to make sure her toenails are painted and wants to wear a dress to go. She is my cleaning helper, she loves doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen "pretty for Daddy" (her idea, not mine LOL) This of course I try to encourage without pushing ;-) She likes to help with J, strangely her and H just have to take turns changing diapers - Whoo hoo!! LOL She is our loud one - H is pretty loud, but B can definitely be louder. Shes pretty laid back but has her own way to do things, and Lord help you if you correct her, full attitude comes on strong then!! She has been trying to do schoolwork with the other ones. Writing, math and reading. She is doing pretty good considering I'm not pushing it and just letting her listen in on H's lessons. Maybe it will be easier this way, lets hope anyway ;-) She is also my pickiest eater - she will not eat meat of any kind. Never has, even when she first started eating she wouldnt do it. Talented as well I might add - she would take a bite from a sandwich and be able to just spit out the meat. She's just like her daddy and loves cheese on everything - including jelly sandwiches LOL! Adventurous I guess in some ways ;-)

H

2009-03-25T23:31:00.013-05:00

H, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

H is surprising me everyday. When did she become a big girl?? Its hard to look at her and think "wow, shes 6" when in my mind she stopped at 4. She is my little mommy - always asking to hold the baby, wanting to get J dressed up like a little doll. The best part is - she asks to do these things shes good at it!! I know she can hold the baby and I can start dinner without worry. Is that typical for a 6 year old?? I try to rarely ask the older ones to care for the younger ones, but if they ask, who am I to say no?? ;-) She started her first official school year this year. We've been focused on reading and basic math. Both of which she is good at, but takes some prodding. I know she knows the sounds, she knows she knows the sounds, but actually getting her to say them is another story. She also asks to "use your fingers" when she gets a big math problem LOL She'll put up her fingers then say "Mommy, I need 3 more fingers" Haha! We've also been working on personal responsibility, not doing so is a huge pet peeve of mine. She's kinda in the middle between a follower and a leader, it depends on what it is that determines which side she is on. She is also much more daring in her dress then I am. While I stick to classics, she likes pretty much anything, baring its "girly" enough ;-)

K

2009-03-25T23:30:00.011-05:00

K, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

K is your mostly typical 10 year old boy LOL He's adjusted fairly well I suppose to all the chaos he's had the last 6 months. Not sure if the attitude has been because of that or hormones, maybe a combination - lets hope its that and not my parenting :-P But then he flips, just as fast, and is the sweetest most helpful little man that I am sure will be a great adult. He is so helpful with the littles, its the older littles that he likes to pick on - but dont worry, they pick right back, sometimes even worse Haha!! He is very persistent, which is difficult to parent at times but will be a good asset when he is older. He also likes to debate and have the last word - maybe we are training up a future lawyer LOL He has an entrepreneurial mind and is always coming up with new business ideas, which we always encourage!! He just started a new year of baseball. He is doing really well, last year seemed to be the year things started clicking with him, hoping he continues to improve. Of course much of that depends on the coach he has, this is our first year with this coach so we'll see how it goes. Schoolwork is schoolwork LOL We went down to just the basics this year, knowing how chaotic it was going to be. So its been a rather relaxed and easy school year for him.

I know I suck

2009-03-25T01:47:00.004-05:00

ROFL!! I have no good excuse. Needed to take a break from everything, center myself, completely pull myself out of that hole I had been in. But I am back. I have missed taking pictures and blogging so much. Its time to start again. I'll start tomorrow with posts updating to where we are today, so much has happened this year, its crazy but just reminds me how blessed we are. So I'll be back tomorrow Blogger Land :-) And as they say - back to regular programming ;-)

12-21 79/365 Menu Plan Monday

2008-12-22T00:00:00.002-06:00

12-21 79/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Another week- so another menu This whole menu thing is hard. Whats funny is its nothing new for me. I've always had a menu, usually a 4-5 week rotation... the problem is we are tired of eating those 30 dinners, it seems like we are always eating them - even though reality is its only once a month. Which is what brought me to do this, maybe I'll get a bunch of ideas and we can switch things up a bit :-) This week though will be pretty messed up obviously with last minute Christmas shopping and all of our family dinners, so here we go:

Monday
B - Strudels
L - Out (last minute shopping)
D - turkey sandwiches

Tuesday
B - MuffinsL - Out (last, last minute shopping)D - BBQ chicken sandwiches (I cant get enough BBQ this pregnancy LOL!)

Wednesday
B - Orange and cinnamon rollsL - SandwichesD - Christmas breakfast thing from Swiss Colony (Thank mom!!)

Thursday - Merry Christmas!!!!
B - French toast bake L/D - Christmas Lunch/Dinner #1

Friday
B - MuffinsL - SandwichesD - Enchiladas

Saturday
B - Sausage BiscuitsL/D - Christmas lunch/dinner #2

Sunday
B - Breakfast burritosL/D - Christmas lunch/dinner #3

12/20 78-365

2008-12-20T23:46:00.001-06:00

12/20 78-365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

This was my birthday present to myself, that I bought like a month ago and kept away from myself. Only to plug it in yesterday and.... nothing. Yea, it didnt work - ugh! So today we returned it and it is SOOO worth it :-)

12-19 77/365 - Happy Birthday to Me!!

2008-12-20T00:42:00.005-06:00

12-19 77/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Its my birthday!! The big 2-8 (yea like thats big Haha!) It started with breakfast in bed made by my children - how sweet is that?! Then they gave me my birthday cards (handmade of course!) and some "mommy coupons". This is a picture of my 'cake' - since they cant bake me a cake, they built me a cake :-) Awwwww!!! (Then of course, take a picture mommy! Ok, yea, in my 'just woke up morning daze' and lets not even get into the mess and the hanging blanket LOL!!) And they were nice all day! Wheew! Wonderful!! Then it continued when my husband got home...

Lovin' the two-tone baby pink roses!!!

Then I got a box of Godiva Chocolates!! MMMM!! So of course I bust it open to get a piece right?? Ha! I see a little black bag.... I seriously have no idea why Godiva would be giving bags, maybe its lined so you can put the chocolates in it..?? So of course I pick it up to feel for a 'crinkle' and felt something hard... and out popped -

BAM! Wow wow wow!! Isnt it beautiful!!! The ring - not my photography ;-) It is midnight after all, I'll try to take better pics tomorrow. Regardless - it is beautiful!!! 5 diamonds in the middle (one for each child he said), flanked with 5 diamonds on each side. Way better then the 3 stone ring I've wanted!!! ;-) Then as if all that wasnt enough - he cooked dinner for us!!! Spoiled??? Yea, today was a spoiled day :-) I am so blessed :-)

12-18 76/365

2008-12-18T23:41:00.002-06:00

12-18 76/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Ok normally I am not one to complain about the weather (except when its wicked cold - I hate the cold LOL). But this is getting ridiculous!! First its in the 60's - *the next day* it is sleeting - 2 days of it being cold/sleety (when "they" said it would only be a little bit and only 1 day), then we have 2 days of this dense not going anywhere fog (again, when today was supposed to be in the upper 50's!). WT?! Driving around today all I could think was "wow, this is really scary movie like" Ha! Then we had to go to walmart, ever seen the movie "The Mist" - yea, need I say more!! Especially when we walk outside and you can only see 1/2 the parking lot. Then I get to drive away from civilization, through the woods - with this dense scary fog. And do I even have to mention the fact that we then had to unload the van... This doesnt look as bad as it has been at times (and became again shortly after we got everything in the house!) Whew - ready for some clear weather!

On to other news... I bought my first 5 lbs of wheat berries! Exciting :-) I'm going to try and mill some up with my coffee grinder (LOL!) and make some bread... worst case, I may end up calling a friend of mine who has a grinder and beg for help ;-) Then hopefully this new recipe I have actually taste like white bread like it says... we'll see - I did get the hard white wheat berries though, so that should do a lot, its just the getting a light not dense loaf that is kinda intimidating. I'm good at those snacky breads, but its this sandwich bread... I can do this - come on, women have been making bread for centuries! Stay tuned to see how this turns out...

12-17 75/365

2008-12-17T23:44:00.005-06:00

12-17 75/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Do I really need to say more?? Haha!!

I starting thinking today about revamping the site... although I have no idea what I want to do HA! I think I want to put a 3 column lay out... and of course keep with a "girly" theme... ooh maybe I could do a cute title pic like all the cool blogs have - Is there such thing as blog envy, and if so is that still a sin?? Haha!! That would be funny - "Forgive me Father for I have sinned, I covet this blog layout I saw on Blogger..." HA!!! Ok, I'm a dork :-P Seriously though, I'll have to think about this blog pic thing tomorow, that would be kinda cool :-)

12-16 74/365 - Who's earth is it anyway??

2008-12-17T23:44:00.004-06:00

12-16 74/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Today we were watching Happy Feet - you know the movie about the penguin that tap dances. Cute movie... until I noticed the anti-human undertone (which I also hear was apparent in Wall-E, but I havent seen that one yet, so will have to withhold comment). The previews have a segment talking about how we are overfishing the oceans and you shouldnt eat fish, if you do you should only eat certain ones. The basis of the movie is that the fish have disappeared so one penguin goes in search of them. Of course only to find out that its humans who are taking the fish and "kinda killing them" (the penguins). Which got my mind wondering...

What do all these environmentalist intend for humans to eat??

I think its a valid question. We shouldnt eat fish/lobster/crab because the oceans are "over fished" and throwing off the eco-system. We shouldnt eat chickens/cow/pigs because they produce methane gas, not to mention the "inhumane conditions". So that leaves us with plants. Which ::surprise:: we apparently shouldnt eat either because to much land is needed to grow these crops, which means less trees and wild life habitat. Great, so that leaves... wild vegetation and tree leaves/nuts. Mmmm yummy... NOT!

Which got me thinking more. How do "they" think we should heat/cool our homes?? Coal produces to much pollution, they dont like nuclear for whatever reason. Burning wood produces pollution. That leaves us with... hrm... solar and wind. Both are great, dont get me wrong. I would love to have my own solar powered house... that is until Congress gets the bill passed that taxes me for creating my own clean power. Which yes, is totally possible - if the municipal (read government) water company can charge me every month for *not* using their sewer system, even though I have had a septic system long before they came down this road, they would charge us for non-energy use. So I guess the answer to that would be we would forever be at the mercy of the power companies to charge however much they feel is 'enough'... or learn to live with the weather.

So in the end - that leaves us to eat wild vegetation and leaves and learning to live in the weather, be it 10 degrees or 110 degrees... wow... so much for "progress" and being the "intelligent species"... we wouldnt have made it much farther then the early cavemen... HA! Pioneer days I might could do... hell at least I could have meat and heat ;-) And they understood that humans were at least slightly higher on the hierarchy then animals.

Ok, done with the wondering thoughts...

12-15 73/365 - Menu Monday

2008-12-15T23:48:00.006-06:00

12-15 73/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

No, thats not snow - its sleet! Yeah how crazy is that - it has blanketed everything looking like snow, but really its ice pellets. "They" were forecasting one tenth to one quarter inch... thankfully I didnt listen to them and went ahead and picked up some milk because it is already easily half an inch! Now thats not much to most of the country I understand, but here in the south just the threat of icy/snowy weather and everything shuts down. No, I'm not kidding. Schools are all closed already, news people are telling everyone to stay off the roads unless absolutely necessary to travel. This is supposed to continue through tomorrow and clear up Wednesday. So looks like Mr Man has a couple days off, as does MIL. We should have enough firewood to at least get through the next couple days. Building a wood shed and getting a couple cords of wood was high on the priorities list, but apparently not high enough LOL Maybe we can get that resolved before the next system expected on Monday.

Ok so onto Menu Monday. Apparently we are supposed to submit them to Organizing Junkie on Sundays... I'll have to try and remember that :-)

Monday
Breakfast - muffins
Lunch - McDonald's (it started sleeting earlier then anticipated, we had to go to walmart)
Dinner - Pancakes and sausage

Tuesday
Breakfast - Breakfast burritos (tortillas, eggs, sausage, cheese)
Lunch - Sandwiches (Jelly, PB&J, tuna fish - each child eats a different one, so they have to make their own)
Dinner - Sloppy Joes, Lays chips

Wednesday
Breakfast - Orange rolls (unless Mr Man and MIL are home, then muffins)
Lunch - Sandwiches
Dinner - Chicken Spaghetti (shredded or chunked chicken, any kind of noodles, 1 lb Velveeta, 1 can rotell, 1 can cream of chicken)

Thursday
Breakfast - muffins (or orange rolls)
Lunch - Out (grocery shopping day)
Dinner - Leftovers

Friday
Breakfast - muffins
Lunch - mac and cheese, hot dogs
Dinner - Grilled ham and cheese sandwiches, chips

Saturday
Breakfast - Cinnamon rolls
Lunch - Sandwiches
Dinner - Enchiladas

Sunday
Breakfast - Breakfast burritos
Lunch - Sandwiches
Dinner - ???

12-14 72/365

2008-12-15T00:00:00.002-06:00

12-14 72/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

So I've been thinking, since I am supposed to post a photo of myself everyday for this 365 Project, maybe I need to have some direction y'know. Like Mondays would be topic A, Tuesdays would be B, and so on. That might make it easier, then I could expand on a topic of interest (maybe even write it in advanced Who hoo!) and be able to focus the photo for that subject. Sounds good in theory anyway Haha! So I am thinking I would start doing Organized Junkie "Menu Monday" and just relate Mondays to food, recipes and the like. Then I've really gotten into this whole Family Preparedness thing, so maybe that could be Fridays (get it - Family Preparedness Fridays Ha!) Wednesday could be just Wacky Wednesday, Just Thinking Thursdays... that still leaves Tuesday, Saturday and Sunday. I guess Sunday I could stick with religious stuff, but I dont think I have that much to say about it... So I dont know, I think it would be easier, but again, it is all a theory, and I am all about this "in theory" thing :-P I figure its worth a try anywho :-)

I was a busy lady yesterday (read: lazy slacker). Mr Man set up the trampoline that MIL got the children for Christmas, which means for most of the day the children were outside with him. And what did I do?? Did I catch up on housework?? Laundry?? Did I even get out of my pajamas?? HA! Nope, I stayed right here on the couch, read a bit online, layed on the couch some more, read some more, layed some more. So while I would love to report that I got something accomplished yesterday, and much to the disappointment of Mr Man and MIL, NOTHING was accomplished - and I am ok with that. Its not often I get a truly lazy day!

So finally, about 5pm I decided to get dressed, we had to go to a friends birthday party, which was at a bar... do I need to point out the obvious...?? Here I am, 31 weeks pregnant, huge as a house (ok, not that big yet, but close!), and I am at a bar with a bunch of drunks. Twice I was asked if "that is a baby" - not once, but TWICE! No, its not a baby, I just gain weight in a basketball belly Ha! Whatever. So anyway, as much as I vowed not to be the beached whale on the dance floor, I just couldnt help myself when they played the Cupid Shuffle... and then Shake that ass by Eminem... yea I know, pretty ghetto, but I'm allowed ghetto tendencies at least occasionally I think ;-) The hard part was figuring out how to dance in 3 inch knee high boots when my center of balance is totally off and I have 20 lbs of baby sticking out front Ha! But it was fun, strange being sober at a bar, but fun none the less :-) Thankfully (?) pregnancy drastically brings out my night owl tendencies, so it didnt throw me off to much today going to bed at 3am - it was only 2 hours late :-)

Tomorrow is going to be busy I hope, we started school again last week, and thankfully it only took a couple of days for the children to get back in the grove. I need to go return some stuff and buy some storage shelves. This house has NO storage space AT ALL! We've probably spent $400 in the last month just on storage stuff - amazing! Hopefully I can empty at least a box or two... Thats the plan... now we'll see about follow through since we are supposed to have a "little" winter storm roll through tomorrow as well... its the intention that counts right?? ;-)

12-12 70/365

2008-12-12T23:56:00.001-06:00

12-12 70/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Not exactly what I was trying for :-( But I couldnt remember how I took pics of the moon before - was it aperature, shutter, illumination... Oh well. The moon was huge and so bright tonight, its a shame my brain/camera were not working together.

12-11 69/365

2008-12-11T23:22:00.002-06:00

12-11 69/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

One of the hardest things for me to deal with the last few weeks is our loss of self-reliance. I know that may sound funny to some, but the one thing that I have learned the last 3 years is that you can not depend on anyone but yourself (and your spouse obviously). If others come to help you, that is all the better, but you can not count on nor rely on that to happen. This I have learned through many situations over the years - people will say things, they may even have the best of intentions to follow through, but what happens if for whatever reason they are not able to and you have been relying on it?? Now that is not to say that we have not had help the last few years, we have, we have had a lot of help, for which we are eternally grateful for. However, I have to stress again, that it should never be counted on.

This has fueled much of my intentions the few years, but even more so the last year. Self reliance has been a big topic for me. It has fueled me to get us out of debt, to lower our bills to the lowest we thought possible, and then lower them more. While it has mostly been internally, I have finally been able to speak up and start making bigger steps happen. Or so I thought. Part of my problem has been that we are no longer solely reliant upon each other; we now have to rely on not only my mother in law but also her soon to be ex husband to continue paying their obligations so we can ensure a roof over our heads. Well obviously, with how dirty her ex has been thus far, I cant trust him. Which has left me kinda freaked out to say the least. I am one of those people that needs a solution, a plan, when a problem is identified. I need to know what needs to be done and what I need to do to accomplish it.

Well after discussing with Mr Man I have that solution, I know what needs to be done, now I am am working on a plan - we are continuing the plans to build a small cottage DIY. Lowes sells the Katrina Cottage plans and can bundle the materials for a discount. Mr Man likes this floor plan, although I was looking at something about half that size, more in the 500 sq ft range. That is something we will have to discuss and compare. Regardless, we are going to have to do this ourselves and find any way we can to cut costs, which means alternative building materials, attempting to keep costs under $15/sq ft. Wish us luck LOL Unfortunately, we can not start until after the baby is born and I have some time to recover. So instead, I am working on other parts of the plan, which I'll probably discuss in the future. Regardless, coming to this conclusion has helped a lot to get me out of this funk. Now to get it accomplished ;-)

12-10 68/365 - "So she painted on a smile and learned to pretend"

2008-12-11T21:22:00.005-06:00

12-11 69/365 - "So she painted on a smile and leaned to pretend", originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Guess whos back... dun dun dun... back again.... Linda's Back... tell your friends... Guess whos back, guess whos back, guess who back Haha!

Seriously, yea, after a few slacker days, I'm back. We're moved, the house has been emptied into a storage unit, some things have been brought to mother in laws house. Wish I had a really good reason for slacking so much on my 365, but I dont. Just the simple fact that this move threw me for a loop. After suppressing everything, I finally allowed myself to feel. Yes I know the situation could be worse, I know that, but that doesnt mean it has been easy. I akin it to the man that says "I have a broken arm" and another man says "Well I have a broken leg". Both suck, but it doesnt make one easier then the other to the person going through it. I had to allow myself to mourn what is lost, come to terms with our new situation, and remember contentment is realizing that we are exactly where God intends for us to be at this given moment. Will I no longer have bad days?? I'm sure I will, but the last few days have been better.

My title for this photo says it all - "So she painted on a smile and learned to pretend..." Because sometimes it takes you painting on that smile, pretending everything is fine to finally push yourself over that hump, to actually believing it IS all ok, or at least will be. I'll be updating over the next few days, hopefully. And probably rambling a lot as well. Much has been on my mind the last weeks, and as you know, blogging is my journalling, my "thinking through". I really want to finish up my "30 Secrets" as well so I can move on to other "30-somethings". Hope this finds you all well!!

11-29 through 12-9 Days 57-67

2008-12-11T21:21:00.004-06:00

11-29 through 12-10 Days 57-68, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Yea, I'm not even going to go into all that was going on and what caused me to miss so many days. After debating to restart or just add a filler, I decided this is my life and sometimes I just cant get to photos.

11/28 56/365

2008-12-11T21:21:00.001-06:00

11/28 56/365 , originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Black Friday - its 3:30 in the morning - need I say more ;-) Happy to report that I got 95% of my Christmas shopping done - and under budget I might add :-) Go me!

11/27 55/365

2008-12-11T21:20:00.003-06:00

11/27 55/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Ok, so not technically a self portrait, but it is a portrait of myself and my family LOL And I really wanted a photo of us on the ball field. See Mr Man's mom's family has our get togethers at a baseball field because its easiest for everyone, and its the only place big enough Haha!! But dont worry - its not like we're freezing on the field, his uncle has a skybox ;-)

11-26 54/365

2008-12-11T21:20:00.001-06:00

11-26 54/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Our first day of Thanksgiving - with all seperate families we usually have 4 days of holidays - ours, my mom, his mom, his dad. Yea, hectic. Funny note though - do you know how hard it is to inconspicuously take a self portrait in a room full of people?? Haha!!

11/25 53/365

2008-12-11T21:19:00.003-06:00

11/25 53/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

FUTAB!

Emptied more boxes from the dining room! Time to rest and enjoy not seeing boxes while on the couch Haha!

11-24 52/365

2008-12-11T21:19:00.001-06:00

11-24 52/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Filler

11-23 51/365

2008-12-11T21:18:00.005-06:00

11-23 51/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Our apparent new second home. It seems everyday the last week we have gone to Lowes and Walmart. Always something we are missing and need.

11-22 50/365

2008-12-11T21:18:00.003-06:00

11-22 50/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Still sleepy - unpacked a little bit, mostly overwhelmed.

11/21 49/365

2008-12-11T21:18:00.001-06:00

11/21 49/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Filler

11-20 48/365

2008-12-11T21:16:00.003-06:00

11-20 48/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Our last dinner in our now empty house. David was working, so it was just me and the children, to Little Ceasers we went. Afterwards all the neighborhood kids came by and the children all ran and played in the empty house. Bittersweet.

11-19 47/365

2008-12-11T21:16:00.001-06:00

11-19 47/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Wrong Date ROFL! My bad, I was trying to keep this easier for me... oh well, if I try to upload another it will really throw them all off.... Ignore the date ;-)

11-18 46/365

2008-12-11T21:15:00.003-06:00

11-18 46/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Moving and manicures dont mix.

11-17 45/365

2008-12-11T21:15:00.001-06:00

11-17 45/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Wheres the feet?! I've officially gotten to big to casually look down and see my feet LOL

11-16 44/365

2008-12-11T21:14:00.003-06:00

11-16 44/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Exhausted after moving for 2 days... just want to sleep for a week...

11-15 / 43/365

2008-12-11T21:14:00.001-06:00

11-15 / 43/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

This is it - moving day. Moving was... a disaster that I'm not even going to get into.

11/14 - 41/365

2008-11-14T23:12:00.002-06:00

11/14 - 41/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

So today was... well another packing day Haha! We're not going to finish by tomorrow, and if we do it is literally a miracle of God LOL! Oh well, guess I'll be back to finish up Sunday. Besides that, today started the Above Rubies retreat. I so wanted to go, but (obviously) moving. I'll need to figure something else out, I am really needing some "clear my head" time.

**Warning** The following might be a bit of a downer.

Confession time: I dont think this applies as one of my 30 Secrets, hopefully I'll be able to be more regular with that in the next couple weeks. I'm really really sad about moving. Most of the time a move is exciting - new place, new home, new neighborhood. Sadly, this move holds none of those things. Seems rather fitting that it was/will be so cold and windy :-P

Besides, I've really loved this neighborhood. There are so many children, and more moving in all the time it seems. I'm going to miss guessing and making up stories about our neighbors, whom we know and talk to, but dont know names or occupations or anything else really Haha! Like the lady to the left of us - single, 30's, only has a few girl-friends and her parents come over. Lady to the right - single, 30's, brother, mom and dad always come over, she parties... often - even sleepovers LOL We're talking jammies and pillows here! Then straight across is the older lady whose son just got back from Iraq, and the girlfriend he had before is nowhere around. On her left is a single man whose mom actually owned the party girls house until she died in the driveway after a chemo treatment, yea I had to take some homemade rolls and Loaded Potato Soup over, very sad. Then its a family with 2 littles. Then on the other side of the older lady is a single 30-something lady who is NEVER home. Seriously. She'll come home, get the mail, take it in and come right back out and be gone for another 3-4 days. Then next to her is an older man who used to have a lady living with him, he pressure washes his house every other day during the summer. All the children live up the bend and down the street.

I could go on and on... Am I busybody?? Not really, just home all the time and notice patterns in people LOL As much as I didnt want to move here in the beginning, I've really come to love it. And I'm really gonna miss our pool!!! What in the world am I going to do with a bunch of rowdy children during the summer??? And along with that goes all the built-in parties LOL Now I'll also have to find friends for the children since we're not moving to another neighborhood. Yea, thats a daunting task! But as they say, everything has its season, and this season is over. I really really really hope and pray this is a good move. Only time will tell of course. And hopefully we'll move and I'll be able to get out of this funk... PLEASE!! LOL I want the happy, non-stressed mommy and wife back around here... and I think they might agree as well ;-)

Ok, I'm done being a downer :-P

11/13 - 40/365

2008-11-13T23:54:00.002-06:00

11/13 - 40/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Oh so much on my mind. Things are going along rather smoothly I think. Girls room - Check. Laundry room - check. Office stuff - check. Bathrooms - check. That leaves - the rest of the kitchen and our closets... I think Haha!! It hit me today though - we currently have: a garage, attic, storage room and pool house (its a 10x10 built on site building, really cute, matches the house, not a whole 'nother house LOL). We are moving to a house that has: NONE OF IT!!! What the crap?! Not that there is a lot in any of those places. The storage room has 8 totes of Mr Mans, mine and the childrens past treasures, the tools and various other things that we use often but not enough to have in the house. The attic is the Christmas decorations. The pool house stores all of our yard supplies. The garage stores, well the van and the more frequently used tools/misc stuff. Guess we're buying a shed now too...

Anywho, found this today: What does $700 Billion actually buy Quite interesting... I still like Mr Man's idea - give everyone in the US $100k - that only comes out to (about) $300 billion! Do you know what $100k would do for us?! We'd be totally debt-free PLUS have almost a year's emergency fund left over!! How insane would that be!? Back on subject - then everyone could then pay most of their debts off, and if they didnt oh well, they were given the help. Of course we know thats just not possible in the gov't. Not that anyone up there asked if the people wanted to bail out insurance and mortgage companies... only to 'bait and switch' later and apparently bail out the auto industry. I think this would have been one thing that the vast majority of Americans could agree on - not only no but hell no!! But alas, nobody stormed the capital like they used to do. I think Americans have lost the art of protest. How often do protests end peacefully now?? All I hear about are the stupid-heads who turn violent to get a point across. Oh yea, thats brilliant! Like anyone will want to listen to you after you destroy property and hurt people...

On to a lighter note ;-) I've decided the above is what I want for Christmas. I did want a laptap, but really I dont need it, our computer is just fine, not to mention really new LOL So instead, I want a grain mill. I like cooking/baking... most of the time anyway. Lately I can't get into it, maybe its because I'm pregnant and by 5pm I just want to lay down and do nothing Haha! But normally I do like it. Usually I make my own pastries, biscuits, ect. Bread, while I've made it occasionally, has been me making me nervous, mostly because I really want to use fresh whole wheat flour, which is totally different then the rancid stuff you buy at the grocery store. So while I can make bread with that flour, its just really different when its fresh. Which scares me. But I've decided I need to just jump and do it. The bread is WAAAAY healthier, and probably cheaper once I figure it all out LOL We eat a lot of bread around here... So I know, totally geeky but this is on my Santa list ;-)

Enough random thoughts - Good night :-)

11/12 - 39/365 - 27weeks

2008-11-12T22:51:00.003-06:00

11/12 - 39/365 - 27weeks, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Who hoo!!! I am now in my 3rd Trimester!!! Its all down hill from here baby :-) :-) Perhaps I should clarify - downhill as in "light at the end of the tunnel", not "all goes to crap" LOL!! So far feeling pretty good, 'cept for that kidney stone yesterday of course ;-) Starting to get that late night heartburn Blah! Other then that no real complaints :-) Babe is wicked active, which is a very good thing... just sure wish babe would move the knee/foot/something that likes to stick in my side Haha!

Got a bit accomplished today. Living room - check. Kitchen - mostly check. Books - check. Pretties - check. Kristofer's room - check. And the sad (but good!) thing is - we've used 11 boxes for it all ROFL!! Apparently, contrary to my previous thoughts, I've done pretty good at keeping the "stuff" down Of course tomorrow we tackle the monsters of the girls room and my closet... that should be the real judge Ha!

I need to plan something really special for Friday night - our last night in our first house!! Kinda teary now... Any ideas?? Right now however, I am very tired, so off to bed I go.

11/11 - 38/365

2008-11-11T22:08:00.003-06:00

11/11 - 38/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

FUTAB - I deserve it! Can you tell whats on my socks?? They're kitty's holding mice - theres even tails in the back LOL!

Well no packing got done today... instead I got pass a kidney stone! Oh what fun that was HA! I seriously think kidney stones are worse then childbirth. This will be 2 home kidney stones compared to 2 home births... at least I get something good out of a birth LOL!!!!

11/10 - 37/365

2008-11-11T22:08:00.001-06:00

11/10 - 37/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Blah day - went shopping and got a ton of boxes, packing starts tomorrow.

11/9 - 36/365 - Secret #16

2008-11-09T23:14:00.002-06:00

11/9 - 36/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

I know, I know, I know... I've sucked at this whole self portrait thing. I guess you could say I've been sorta pouting LOL Truth be told, its not like I've been overly busy, actually I haven't gotten much accomplished. Which is part of the problem... and I guess brings me to my next secret -

Secret #16 - I am a Procrastinating Perfectionist.

What exactly is this?? Simple really - I am a perfectionist - everything has to be done perfectly, or at least as perfectly as I can get it - think a combination of Martha Stewart and June Clever perfect. I want people to look at it and say "WOW!! You did this?!" - and not just because its nice to say, but because they truly mean it LOL! BUT (and here's the kicker) I am also a procrastinator - I like to plan, and plan, and plan, but never seem to get around to DOING until the last minute. Which poses its own sets of problems...

What does this mean together?? It means I have a vision in my head of the project, how it will look and turn out. I then have to accomplish this perfected project in the least amount of time possible - often teetering on the edge of "can it even be accomplished, let alone accomplished semi acceptably?" Often times sacrificing sleep for perfected project... until I hit the point of no return the night before, and I become so tired my standards drop drastically. Which while still turning out an alright project, usually its nothing close to the perfected idea in my head. I want it to look like I spent hours and hours, just so I can say "Oh no, it didnt take any time at all" even if it did take hours ;-) It has become a reputation that I must uphold - Oh this silly little thing, of course I did it myself, of course its from scratch! {sigh} I also know, its all my doing.

So enough of the secret. Back to why I've been such a slacker the last couple weeks. We are moving. We've known this for a few months. The original plan was to build a little house debt-free. Well stuff has happened and my mother-in-law needs us to move in with her. We've known this for about a month. We now have 6 days until D-Day (or M-Day, Moving Day). And what has been accomplished?? Nothing. Nadda. Not a damn thing. Now this is not from lack of organization! Plans and to-do lists have been made, looked over, updated, just about perfected. It is the "doing" part that has been the problem. We now have 6 days, still need boxes, tape, a storage unit, steam clean the carpets. Need to have someone go out and fix the well pump and make preparations for the storm room. On and on the list goes...

Why haven't we done anything you ask?? Well I admit, its partly pouting for me. This whole thing has been pretty emotionally draining. Besides the moving aspect, its the way all of this has affected my children. Not good, or easy, to say the least. We knew we would have to care for our parents eventually, it does solve everyone's problems easily, a whole host of reasons for 'why' we should do it logically. Its been done throughout history and in the better part of the world it is still done as the standard. Its the emotional part that has been getting to me the last few weeks. Its living with a parent figure. I always figured they would move in with us, which totally changes the dynamics. Its the having a 3rd opinion and thought process to factor in, its no longer just DH and I making all the family decisions. But now its time to stop the thinking, and just jump, deal with everything else later.

I know in the end, the move will be relatively smooth - it is after all, planned to near perfection on paper ;-) My boxes will be listed, numbered, color coded - my master list will be detailed - so long as everyone can tell blue stars from red and then puts them in the correct room, we'll be doing good LOL! And even if stuff doesnt go as well as planned (on paper Haha!), I also know that baring any major changes in our way of living in the States, in about 3 years we should be living in an RV somewhere on the East Coast... Then again, maybe if things dont go so well for the States, we might be in Mexico or Canada ROFL!!!

11/8 - 35/365

2008-11-09T23:13:00.003-06:00

11/8 - 35/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

This is another one of those "oh crap" photos - I have NO idea what happened to the picture... tried recreating to get the same effect with no luck. Strange huh?

11/7 - 34/365

2008-11-09T23:13:00.001-06:00

11/7 - 34/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Blah - another ucky day...

11/6 - 33/365 - Secret #15

2008-11-09T23:12:00.004-06:00

11/6 - 33/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Secret #15 - I don't function well without my Diet Coke.

Bad mommy here LOL Even during pregnancy I still have to have at least 1-2 cans a day. The days that I dont, well, just dont quite 'go' right. Not that I am addicted to it, as its not uncommon for me to go 2-3 days without it. Its just that the days really dont seem to go as they should LOL Clear as... mud?? Haha!

11/5 - 32/365

2008-11-09T23:12:00.001-06:00

11/5 - 32/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

I read an article today, something about what your engagement ring says about you...
Princess cut - wants the best (no surprise there according to DH Haha!)
Single stone - simple
Yellow Gold - traditional
Yup, just about sums me up! Not a hard one to please ;-)

11/4 - 31/365 - Its in our hands now...

2008-11-04T16:15:00.001-06:00

11/4 - 31/365 - Its in our hands now..., originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Today is the day!
The day that finally the choice is put into our hands!!
Let your voice be heard!
It does matter what you think - the people we elect today will make the decisions for us over the next 4 years - choices we will not have control over.
Choose wisely!!
It'll be a long night for a lot of people, me included ;-)
May God Bless America!!

11/3 - 30/365

2008-11-03T22:25:00.005-06:00

11/3 - 30/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Who hooooo!!!! A whole 30 days into this thing and I've only missed 1 day!! I'm pretty proud of myself. Although I will admit that I have had more then my fair share of crappy last minute pics, I have 11 more months, maybe I'll get better LOL

K's eyes

2008-11-03T22:25:00.003-06:00

K's eyes, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Beautiful

J's fingers

2008-11-03T22:25:00.001-06:00

J's fingers, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Yes she sucks her fingers - not her thumb. Its funny, after we got out of the hospital, she sucked her ring and pinky *upside-down* (as in palm up!) LOL Being strapped down it was the only way she could get her fingers/thumb ;-) Gotta give her credit for being creative right Haha!

11/2 - 29/365 - Secret #14

2008-11-03T22:24:00.001-06:00

11/2 - 29/365 - Secret #14, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Secret #14 - Addicted - completly, utterly, hopelessly addicted to Desperate Housewives.

This is the only show I will drop everything, holler to the children to go to their rooms and pick out a movie to watch - just so I can watch Desperate Housewives LOL Pathetic really huh?? I also love Brothers and SIsters, until they moved The Unit to Sunday nights... now I have to watch that and see Brothers and Sisters online later on ;-) My other favorite show is The Biggest Loser (though not anything like My Housewives LOL) I dont know why I like that show, but I do - I would so totally need Jillian, not sure Bob could motivate me the was she could Haha!

11/1 - 28/365

2008-11-03T22:23:00.001-06:00

11/1 - 28/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

She's got legs Haha!! Actually this is one of those "feel asleep on the couch, woke up at 11:30, crap need a pic" so there ya go ;-)

Halloween

2008-10-31T23:12:00.001-05:00

Halloween, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

I sneaked a pic later ;-)

Halloween

2008-10-31T23:11:00.001-05:00

Halloween, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

K is a ninja
H is a unicorn
I is a lion
J is a kitty but just will not cooperate for pics now :-\

Oct 31 - 27/365 - Secret #13

2008-10-31T23:04:00.001-05:00

Oct 31 - 27/365 - Secret #13, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Secret #13 - I spend a lot of time doing my hair

Its a fact of life for me. See I have naturally curly hair - roughly translated that means: everyday I have to thoroughly get it wet and then spend 15 minutes using 3 different hair products just so it doesn't frizz - total of 30-45 minutes *every day*. If I don't - well you can see the result on the "fluffy side". Yea, need I say more ;-) So it was either that or up it went, which with 4 Little's was more often then not. That is until I found the Chi. Yes it is pricey ($200!) but the effects have been WELL worth every penny! Now I only spend 30 minutes to do my hair every 3-4 days - with NO products! And that includes in the middle of our high humidity southern summers! Who hoooo!!!! It is soo weird to wake up in the morning and just run a brush through my hair and its done - there is no way a brush would get near my head while curly - I think just the sight of one sent my hair into instant frizz ;-)

Interestingly enough - I thought it would be a lot easier then it actually was to only do half my head LOL I had a lot of "redo" to do when I finished the other side :-)

Man if I would have thought about it I would have had a better pic - Secret #13 on Halloween?! How cool is that LOL!

Oct 30 - 26/365

2008-10-30T23:33:00.001-05:00

Oct 30 - 26/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

No secret today - it was a long day and I just can't think - isnt that obvious by the photo LOL Hair's a mess and I had to go B/W cause I didnt feel like messing with coloring ;-)

Need to come up with some ideas so its not 11pm and I end up taking a generic photo... but then with 365 of them, guess its bound to happen Haha

Oct 29 - 25/365 - Secret #12

2008-10-29T23:39:00.002-05:00

Oct 29 - 25/365 - Secret #12, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Secret #12 - I am strong because I am insecure

This is another one of those tough "deep dark" secrets ;-) There are a lot of things I do, choices I have made, because I know I can not put myself in certain situations. I don't rely on people because I am afraid they will let me down. I don't have hospital births because I know I can't stand up for myself. I don't let emotions get involved in just about anything because I don't want to get hurt. I could go on and on, but I'll spare you ;-) Instead of showing my insecurities, I have to be strong in different ways. Its not like I am really that strong, its that I have to be strong in one way because I'm not strong in another. I guess its a good thing, to know my weaknesses, if only I could figure out how to overcome them LOL Like when I changed schools in high school, I spent the first couple of weeks lunchtimes in the library. Why? Because I was afraid I wouldn't be good enough for people to like me. As much as I hated being by myself, I would have rather endured that then to deal with the alternative. A few years later, I was able to look back on that and change, if just a little bit ;-) I'm still not very comfortable just starting up conversations with strangers (actually I suck at it LOL) but if we have something in common (like children!) I am much more relaxed about it all.

Totally off the subject - I think I need to start doing these SP's earlier in the day - by 10pm I don't feel creative at all and certainly do not feel like redoing makeup or taking a semi-thought out photo LOL Maybe you'll start seeing me with make-up more Hahah!

Oct 28 - 24/365 - Secret #11

2008-10-28T23:30:00.002-05:00

Oct 28 - 24/365 - Secret #11, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Secret #11 - I sometimes hate the fact that I research everything

I do, I research everything till I am blue in the face. For some things I just want to get the best product, but many times it has gone farther, and this is where it starts to get hard. Sometimes it goes more into the realm of not trusting "authority figures" - doctors, teachers, lawyers, ect. Its not that I don't believe them, for the most part I do believe they are saying what they think is right. Unfortunately, I also believe that most people have a slant, a bias, that prevents them from seeing more then what they want to see or believe. This is true for me as well I admit.

This secret became very apparent to me last year when our youngest was put into the hospital. Loooooong story short - we found out at 12 weeks that she was in congestive heart failure because of a small hole in her upper heart (ASD), a large hole in her lower heart (VSD) and a pinch in her aorta (CoA - coarctation of the aorta). We were admitted on Friday and had corrective surgery on Sunday, Father's Day 2007. (Side note: her prognoses is good, just need to keep an eye on the CoA as they have a problem of recollapsing). I just prayed that the doctors were making the right choices because I was clueless. We had a few questionable looks when they found out some of the unconventional things we do (or didn't do LOL) like home birthing, not vaccinating, homeschooling, ect. That was to be expected. And for the most part I did trust them and their judgement, there were a few things that didn't make sense, but was deemed "routine".

That was until The Day - The Day I found out they were going to give Jazmine formula instead of the breast milk I had been dutifully pumping every 2 hours for a week. That was the day I lost faith in just about every staff member, doctor and nurse alike. Every visit for the next 4 days it was pounded into me that "formula is better then breast milk" and "1 oz a day of breast milk makes a breastfed baby" . I, after nursing 3 babies for 2 years each, knew better and refused to give into that thinking, thus refusing the formula. Its not like I did it because it was fun LOL I did it because nothing compares. Not to mention, since every single health organization in the world says breast milk is far superior in every way to formula, I knew better - and that is when I started to hate the fact that I did know better.

While on one hand I can feel comfortable in the fact that I have researched, I have weighed the pros and cons of each decision and I know in my heart that I have made the best decisions with the knowledge I have. On the other hand I hate that I can't just be a sheeple sometimes and follow the crowd, just go along with it because "everyone else does it". Life would be easier at times if I did just believe they were always right and I had no reason to believe otherwise. Alas, that is not the way it is meant to be, as they say, you can't unring the bell and I have found power in knowledge.

Oct 27 - 23/365 - Secret #10

2008-10-27T23:56:00.001-05:00

Oct 27 - 23/365 - Secret #10, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Secret #10 - I sleep on the couch... often

I actually don't know why, its just one of those things LOL I nap practically everyday, on the couch of course. Then night time comes around, and I'd say at least one of us sleeps on the couch 2-3 times a week, a lot of the time DH and I both do. Usually its because we are watching TV and fall asleep - we refuse to have TV in the bedroom since the bedroom is a special place for a marriage. When/if one of us wakes up in the middle of the night, he goes to work and I go to the bed. Good thing our couches are comfy ;-)

Oct 26 - 22/365 - Secret #9

2008-10-26T23:30:00.003-05:00

Oct 26 - 22/365 - Secret #9, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Secret #9 - I hate pregnancy clothes

Ok, I'm being lame again LOL Here's another non-secret, secret ;-) I hate pregnancy clothes. Seriously, hate is not to strong of a word. I guess they figure when you have a bowling ball in your belly area you don't need to look cute, your already knocked up right, who is there to impress?? Well I beg to differ! I may be knocked up, but I still want to look cute! Like its not bad enough that we gain weight all over, stretch marks suddenly appear, our ankle swell, pimples pop up out of nowhere, bags form under the eyes because your up every 2 hours to pee - can't I at least look cute with clothes on?!

And I dont want to spend a forture to do it - hello?! I'm only going to wear these clothes for 4 months tops, and then what? Its not like I can wear it next season to get my wear out of it. Then there is the fit with pants. Apparently skinny nor tall people get pregnant - forget a tall skinny person LOL And fitted pants - non-existant, again, unless I want to drop $100 for a pair of jeans I will only wear for a few months. Hell at least I can get a years wear out of my $70 BKE's from the Buckle (the *only* jeans that fit not pregnant).

And who came up with this "mid-belly", "full-belly" thing - you know that wicked tight, fabric enclosed elastic top on the pants that come *up and over* your belly - oh yea, thats real comfortable! So what do you do?! You roll them down and end up with a bulge right under the belly that is really tight when you sit down. Oh and one more - has anyone seen the "pregnancy panties"?! Again same thing - up and over your belly. What exactly is wrong with your regular normal panties?? Does anyone love having the top of their pants and/or panties up so high they are under your ta-ta's?? I think not! If we did, we would wear it not pregnant!

Ok, I think I'm done now LOL This apparently turned into more of a rant - sorry! Yesterday I finally broke down and bought "pregnancy clothes" and it just reminded me of why I hate them so much. If it were not so cold I would just wear skirts, at least I know I could look cute, big ole belly and all ;-)

Oct 25 - 21/265 - Secret #8

2008-10-25T23:04:00.001-05:00

Oct 25 - 21/265 - Secret #8, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Secret #8 - I love wearing heels

Now that doesn't sound weird coming from a woman does it?? Well not unless you factor in 1) that I love heels that are at least 2.5 inches tall and 2) that I am 5'10". Yes, that means with heels, I am 6ft tall :-) Even all my flip flops (which I wear 90% of the time all year round) have a big wedge. It is significant to me because for most of my life I never wanted to bring attention to my height. I was always the tallest kid in class, which made me different, made me stand out, and I hated that! I would make sure my shoes did not have a heel of any sort just so I wouldn't have that added height. Then something happened - I got out of school Haha! That's when I realized being tall rocked! Not to mention the fact that heels make everybody's legs look better - so why not be proud of what has become another favorite asset - my long legs :-) But at the end of the day they aren't much different then yours - just like yours they go from the floor all the way to my butt ;-)

BTW - these are my 2 favorite favorite shoes - both with 2.5 in heels ;-)

Oct 24 - 20/365 - Secret #7

2008-10-24T23:15:00.001-05:00

Oct 24 - 20/365 - Secret #7, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Secret #7 - I miss drinking

Total cop-out photo and secret. Its 11pm and for some reason I am wicked tired, my belly's upset and I gotta get up at 6am to set up at a flea market... almost couldn't pull myself off the couch to get a stinkin' picture but then decided its only like 20 days in and I've already missed 1 day... that wouldnt show much initiative to stay with this stinky project LOL

Back to the secret. Drinking has been the most missed activity this pregnancy. The funny thing is I dont even drink but maybe every few months, and when I do it might be a shot and a beer, thats it. Course I am a lightweight so that little bit usually gets me tipsy and then I'm done for the night. For some reason though, I am wicked excited about having a drink in March... or maybe 2 LOL Maybe its because I didnt get to drink much after Jazmine... maybe its because I just can't have it and that 'no' is making me want it more Haha! So here's to you and here's to me - if you drink, drink one for me :-)

Oct 23 - 19/365 - Secret #6

2008-10-23T23:33:00.002-05:00

Oct 23 - 19/365 - Secret #6, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Secret #6 - I talk to myself... often

What more can I say?? LOL My mind is constantly working, constantly thinking about something. I don't even realize when I start talking out loud anymore. It could be a simple "I need to do..." kinda comment to the more in depth political... err... discussions LOL Maybe its because I have been at home with children for the last 6 years, everyday, by myself. Or maybe its because I am used to voicing my thoughts through the day to teach the children "Ok, now I need to do X, even though I really don't want to, I know it has to be done and the sooner I do it the sooner I can play." Regardless, my oldest thinks its funny and often says "Mom, are you talking to yourself again or to me?" LOL I figure I'm alright so long as I don't start using different voices to portray different points of view Haha!!

Oct 22 - 18/365 - Secret #5

2008-10-22T23:28:00.001-05:00

Oct 22 - 18/365 - Secret #5, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Secret #5 - I can't journal

I just can't do it. When I was little, I was at my grandparents house for a visit and some pages of my diary came up missing. That was the end of journaling for me. The only time in the last 20 years that I have journalled is when our youngest was in the hospital and I didn't have access to a computer. It helped to write multiple times a day when things were changing so rapidly. My journalling issue mostly changed when I discovered blogging about 5 years ago ;-) I love to blog. Its kind of like a diary, but I know the whole world can see so of course there is a lot that I do not post. For the most part though, I have always been pretty open to people I am close to - lets be honest - its not like I am high up on the blogoshphere reading list , so its only close friends that read it anyway. And with close friends, if things are good I'll let you know, if things are crappy I'm not going to pretend everything's great. I guess I feel like if someone felt the need to read my diary before I may as well let it all be known or not write it down at all. Besides, typing is so much easier then writing - I can type almost as fast as my brain can think, not so with writing LOL

Oct 21 - 17/365 - Secret #4

2008-10-21T23:36:00.001-05:00

Oct 21 - 17/365 - Secret #4, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Secret #4 - I don't let people know when they hurt me.

This has perhaps been my most significant revelation to myself. Its really just a self-fulfilling prophesy. I know it is not an intentional infliction of pain from the people closest to me, for the most part anyway ;-) Its my realization that they are not going to be who I need them to be. When I need one thing and they are not able to provide that, I get hurt. That hurt turns to anger, its easier to feel anger towards them then it is to admit they have hurt me. To show hurt is to show vulnerability, which is a weakness and invites more hurt. Its a vicious cycle. Of course I know the truth is I can only look at past interactions to base future interactions on - they are not going to change, they will not suddenly become what I need them to be, they will simply be who they have always been. Yet there is always that part of me, in my heart of hearts, that believes maybe this will be the time that they will be who I need them to be. It's when those people are consistently not who I need them to be that it hurts the most. Yet for those that hurt me when it is out of character for them, it is easier for me to just let it slide, to bury my head, to "deal with it tomorrow", I guess to forgive in my own twisted way of not dealing.

This one was hard to put into words, so I hope it makes sense LOL

Oct 20 - 16/365 - Secret #3

2008-10-20T23:51:00.001-05:00

Oct 20 - 16/365 - Secret #3, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Secret #3 - I still have to think about my left and right.

So here's a funny secret. I am 27 years old and still have to look at my hands to determine which is my left. You would think by now I would know this right? Yea well, apparently that is one thing that has never sunk in. Thankfully it got easier after I got married, I just have to remember which hand my rings are on... assuming I put them on the correct hand to begin with LOL!

Air Show

2008-10-19T23:17:00.004-05:00

Short post - I'm wicked tired and babe is flipping and kicking really hard while I sit, laying down its not so bad :-)

Today we went to the air show, which of course was wicked fun. The children had a blast of course ;-) They (well the girls mostly) kept singing "I'm just sittin' out here watchin' airplanes..." - which they always ask to do, and we were litterally doing it Haha Quite funny, or I'm easily amused, probably the latter. Kristofer just wanted to see the Blue Angels fly, and I got some wicked awesome shots that I need to post on Flickr tomorrow. Jazmine actually did very well, she didnt cry at all with all those loud planes flying over. Much different then what I am accustomed to - both other girls would freak out. Maybe she's just that laid back...?? Who knows. And maybe its the hormones, but I teared up a few times, I guess being a military brat it brings up all those gushy feelings, or like I said, maybe it is just the hormones ;-) I really did tear up when I saw all the military people and thought about how much they mean to me, to all of us. So here's a great big hug to all those who serve and all those at home supporting them {{Hugs}}

Edit to add - pictures added to Flickr :-)

Oct 19 - 15/365 - Secret #2

2008-10-19T22:42:00.001-05:00

Oct 19 - 15/365 - Secret #2, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Secret #2 - I often feel invisible in a group.

Kind of a strange secret, but most people think I am an outgoing type person. In reality, I do not feel that way. To be honest, some times it is my fault, I hide behind my children. It is so easy to just focus on them and ignore the rest of the world, particularly when we are around people that are tough to be around. So in some ways it is an unintentional cop-out, perhaps a self-protective measure, to not deal with the issues that surround that group. At other times though, usually around people that we consider to be friends, I just feel invisible, unseen, I'm there because I'm an extension of my husband and "supposed" to be there, even when they are "our" friends.

Oct 18 - 14/365 - Secret 1

2008-10-18T20:48:00.002-05:00

Oct 18 - 14/365 - Secret 1, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Secret #1 - I am afraid of the dark.

Maybe its not such a huge secret, since most everyone close to me knows it. I still sleep with a light on, not just a nightlight, but the hall light. I can't go outside by myself after dark, unless I have all 4 flood lights on and can completely see our entire backyard. If I come home after dark, I have to check the house - every room, every closet - to be sure there is nothing there. I have my phone and a flashlight on my side of the bed in case I wake up and the lights are out. Then I have to go get the lantern and inspect the house. I couldn't even enjoy a romantic moonlit walk on the beach with my husband, I had to have the flashlight on the whole time.

What would be there?? I don't know, there isn't anything that I am aware of that traumatized me during my childhood related to the dark. Actually as far back as I can remember, if it was dark I wouldn't get out of bed, regardless of how bad I had to pee. I'm pretty sure its not the dark in itself that scares me, but what is in the dark that I can't see. I have to be able to clearly see to feel comfortable. Strange huh?

30 Secrets in 30 Days

2008-10-18T09:27:00.003-05:00

So to help me along in the quest for 365 Self Portraits I have joined the 30 Secrets group on Flickr. The idea is simple - each day you post a secret about yourself. Now since I dont have any deep dark skeletons in my closet, I figured I would just post things taht maybe most people didnt know about me. Enjoy :-)

Oct 17 - 13/365 - Read My Lips

2008-10-17T22:56:00.002-05:00

Oct 17 - 13/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Read My Lips

My other fave feature - my lips. I love how pouty they are, and best yet its au naturale :-* Though I do have to say I didn't think I had that much peach fuzz ;-)
__________________________________

Ever just had one of those days you want to scream to everyone "Did you NOT hear me the FIRST HUNDRED TIMES?! READ MY LIPS!!" Whew - I feel better. Yea today was one of those incredibly unproductive days. I just couldn't help it. Started with a yard sale, so I got up way to early and have just dragged all day long. Tried to nap on the couch for a bit only to be interrupted by K chasing H and "just pinching" her to get his stuff back, to which H has to retaliate... sigh. Tomorrow is a few short hours away, it should be better ;-) I, however, am making this a brief post as the bed is screaming my name (and I hear it, I don't have to read its lips).

Oct 16 - 12/365 - Cleaning house

2008-10-16T22:46:00.006-05:00

Oct 16 - 12/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Is it just me that finds some kind of comfort, of therapy, in cleaning house? At first thought it probably sounds strange to most people. I find it therapeutic, calming, even cleansing (physically and mentally). Now I'm not talking about the kind of cleaning that entails of constant fighting from the littles to pick up their mess, nor the kind that requires me to pick up the same area 4 times in an hour just so I can vacuum. I'm talking about the kind of cleaning when everyone is helpful, or possibly even better at times, when I am left on my own to clean in peace.

What makes it therapeutic? Is it the instant gratification? The drastic change right before your eyes - how a kitchen can go from "Wow you just had a 3 course meal" to "Does this kitchen ever get used?". We all know when the house is a complete disaster it can make us feel pretty ucky. Then, like magic, a clean house can make us want to get a cup of tea and sit down to relax. Or it can make us want to invite people over (which is funny really, guests usually involve food, which creates another mess). Perhaps its the mindless redundancy. Once you learn, you can do it without much thought, it is the same over and over. Which frees your mind to think of anything or nothing.

Decluttering is my favorite. Not the actual act, but the after effects. Afterwards, even if you didnt think it was cluttered before, you litterally feel lighter, your mind freer, and somehow, even behind a closed closet door, the room instantly feels cleaner. Besides less stuff means its easier to keep the house clean ;-)

Oct 15 - 11/365 - Are you Prepared?

2008-10-15T23:21:00.007-05:00

Oct 15 - 11/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Its funny how much I have changed over the years. When we had our first child I never had a stocked diaper bag - seriously! I was not one of those parents that packed anything and everything a baby could possibly need. I did the first few months then realized how little we ever used, so stopped lugging that 20 pound bag full of crap around. When we had our 2nd I got a little better. I usually had diapers and wipes in the car (when I remembered to restock them), maybe a change of clothes for the children (although the state of cleanliness would be questionable, they did after all, stay in the car). If I was without the car, I was lost. After we had our third I got a little bit better. I put the diaper bag in the car, stocked with most of the needed supplies, barring again, that I remembered to restock.

After our forth I (finally) became pretty good at this thinking ahead thing! The diaper bag stays in the van, restocked with all the needed "busy items" that children might need during a long car wait - colored pencils, coloring books, chalk and bubbles for outside play, small toys, a first aid kit and a package of wipes. Yet alas, those diapers always seemed to run out. So in goes a package of diapers. Perhaps its because of all her issues that I had to plan ahead and have extra thickening packets, plan ahead for medication times, pumping times, ect.

See my goal here is simple - plan for things now so I don't have to think about them later. I know my mind is full of a million things, I forget the simplest things - like diapers - but in my defence, I've never forgot a child (knock on wood!), even in my sleep deprived fog of a mommy brain. All this "thinking ahead" and "being prepared" has stepped a bit further though. About a year ago we started saving an emergency fund. I started stocking food. Not in the hoarding sort of way, but keeping a good stock of food on hand for whatever might come up. Lets face it, my husband is self-employed and some months are very thin, having a very well stocked pantry is just one less thing for me to worry about paying for during those months.

This year it seems to have stepped up to another level. I have wanted to be more prepared. Prepared for what?? I don't know. Life I guess. A few weeks ago I was looking at the puzzle David and I put together the week of 9/11 and it hit me. What if that happens again?? Would we be prepared for something like that?? We live in tornado alley - our preparedness was a lantern in the hall closet, food in the pantry, no water, flashlights in the laundry room, tools in the storage room (to turn off the gas and such), gloves in the garage... do I need to go on?? Essentially, if disaster struck, we would be lost. We had the closest call in March when a tornado hit less then a mile from our home, it wasn't big, just an EF2, but it was big enough to shake me up for a while. See we live in an area that "won't get hit" because we live in the valley. Well this years tornado's have thrown all those ideas out the window - they will hit anywhere anytime.

All this of course has me thinking - are we prepared for a disaster?? Could we have all our essentials packed and out the door in less then 10 minutes?? The answer of course, was a resounding 'no' to both questions.

So we have to figure out our threat level. Our biggest threats would be tornado's and straight line winds. The next level would be the arsenal or nuclear plant having some sort of meltdown, a possible earthquake (which would have to be a 7+ to cause any significant damage here) and of course, a terrorist attack. So our most significant need would be a minimum 2 weeks in home emergency kit, stocked with food and water along with other tornado related stuff, already in the Safe Room.

Our next need would be a 3 day Jump Kit, which I have just started getting together in an Rubbermaid rolling tote. See my initial thoughts were always if I have to evacuate without the van I'm screwed anyway - me, 5 children and 7 jump bags, if Mr Man were home it would be a lot easier, but still difficult, and we would have to forget any significant water supply. So I never planned a 3 day Jump Kit. Yet the more I think about it, the better it sounds. If for whatever reason we did suddenly have to evacuate in a moments notice (with or without the van), we would be prepared for it. If not, then we can always use the Jump Kits in conjunction with our Tornado kits.

Think about it - do you know your threats?? Are you prepared?? Are you willing to depend on someone else for you and your families survival?? I for one, am not willing to take that chance. Am I just paranoid?? Perhaps, but I think more and more people are thinking like this, most probably don't want to admit for fear of being labeled 'paranoid' or 'crazy'. We can't live in the dark anymore - it has been proven time and time again, anything can happen, anytime, anywhere. Be prepared.

Oct 14 - 10/365 - Look into My Eye

2008-10-15T00:07:00.007-05:00

Oct 14 - 10/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

One of my most favorite features - here it is all naked without any makeup - which is VERY unusual BTW - I NEVER leave the house without eye makeup so why take a pic of it with brows that desperatly need to be waxed - so I could remember that its not the make-up that makes my eyes pretty - its the color and shape - and the color is quite cool if I do say so myself ;-) Although I still dont know what color to truly classify it - grey maybe?

Oct 13 - 9/365 - 23 Week Belly Pic

2008-10-15T00:07:00.006-05:00

Oct 13 - 9/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Ok, so missed yesterday. Sigh. Ah well, so does that make this day 9 or 10?? Here is my 23 week belly pic - yea I'm pretty pooched out, but it is #5 so I guess its bound to happen right?? For me, this is a very significant photo. I've struggled with body image since my teen years. Yea I know some of you are laughing at me. While I love being pregnant and know it is a beautiful time in life, it is hard to accept some of the body changes that happen and sometimes stay. One bonus is my butt gets bigger :-)

Old photos

2008-10-14T23:17:00.003-05:00

Whew - almost a whole 10 days and I've only missed one day! Not bad for little ole slacker me

Today was another day. Contrary to what I have always believed, apparently I do not have such an exciting life. Oh don't get me wrong, if you believe having a 2nd poopy diaper in one day is exciting then I am totally there! Alas, I do not think most people think that is so exciting... so I'll just bore you with the normalcy of our life...

We did get some things accomplished. I bought some desperately needed photo albums. Why?? Because like every other mother out there I have a box full of pictures that have no home. So I came up with the wonderful idea of scanning every picture that was not originally digital and putting them in photo albums. Sounds great right?? Really how long can it possibly take to scan a few thousand photos into a computer so I can put them onto disks and into the safe. Not only would I have a copy of all our photos in case of disaster, but I would also be able to put the pictures onto my wonderful digital photo frame that I (also) wanted so desperately.

Sounds great right?? Not so easy to put into action. I have seriously been thinking about doing this for 2 years - yes, seriously 2 years. Now if that isn't procrastination I don't know what is. And if you knew me you would know how much my photos mean to me, so why haven't I don't this sooner??? Really I think its because I am afraid I will start and not finish. I know that sounds funny to some people, but really, I have 4 children, "spare time" is not something I have an abundance of. So I know I will get in a few, maybe a couple dozen if I can work quickly and I will be interrupted. After being interrupted for the 10 time I will get frustrated and stop "for a little bit"... problem is that "later" has a hard time of coming around again. Then it will be "just another project Linda didn't finish"...

Yea so, that's my (lame) reason for not having done it. This time around I am giving myself until the end of the year to finish them - that's 3 months, surly I can stumble through them all in that time... right?? Well that's my goal. I'll just take it ala Fly Lady - 15 minutes at a time. Wish me luck!!

Whew

2008-10-13T22:27:00.002-05:00

Ok, theres all my SP challenge(s) pics - maybe next time I wont let them get so far behind ;-)

Oct 11 8/365

2008-10-13T22:07:00.001-05:00

Oct 11 8/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Saturday - Race for the Cure - 45,000 people walked, 3,000 in the 3 Miles of Men. After we went to the farm for the annual mini-family reunion.

Oct 10 - 7/365

2008-10-13T22:06:00.003-05:00

Oct 10 - 7/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Friday - Going out tonight to see Rodney Carrington - he was pretty funny. Then we ate at Kan Pai, my new favorite place.

Oct 9 - 6/365

2008-10-13T22:06:00.001-05:00

Oct 9 - 6/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Thursday - didnt think we needed another "not good day" picture - so this will have to do. We came up with an idea and we told the children - if I could have taken a photo of their faces when we had to tell them so I could send them to him...

Oct 8 - 5/365

2008-10-13T22:05:00.001-05:00

Oct 8 - 5/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Wed - Well life have been thrown upside-down around here. All plans are out the window due to somebody being stupid and hateful. Actually those words dont even begin to describe what he did. Thanks for hurting so many people, including my children, no really, thanks for being an @$$. Not a good day.

Oct 7 - 4/365

2008-10-13T22:02:00.001-05:00

Oct 7 - 4/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

Tuesday - Again, nothing much happened today. Found a great price for the ISBU's, started calling around about well pumps. Its finally rolling!

Mirror - Oct 6 - 3/365

2008-10-13T21:43:00.002-05:00

Oct 6 - 3/365
Originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77

Monday - nothing huge happened today. Called a million people getting quotes for ISBU's and finding out what needed to be done to get electric to the land (footings poured and water under pressure).

Mirror Mirror - Oct 5 - 2/365

2008-10-13T21:25:00.002-05:00

Oct 5 - 2/365
Originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77

Second Day clearing the land. This is me bored waiting on David to bring the tractor. We now have a place for the house, a front yard and a backyard! Kristofer helped a bunch - we moved a ton of big rocks and cut down a tree that would be in the way of our new front door :-)

Oct 4 - 1/365

2008-10-13T21:17:00.006-05:00

Oct 4 - 1/365, originally uploaded by SouthernBelle77.

My first 365 Self Portrait - Our first day at our new land. Today we layed out our property lines and figured out where to put the house.

Life's curves

2008-10-13T17:36:00.003-05:00

Isn't it crazy how everything can change in literally an instant? We had just that moment last week, when my mother in laws husband had her served. Needless to say, it was very sudden and unexpected (not to mention cowardly!) and has thrown everyone into a scramble. First there is the obvious - what do we do for her? Then there was what to do about the children. Then there was our plans...

Happy to report she is doing better, at least as well as she can be doing considering ;-) Its a bunch of ups and downs, this 'healing process'. The children took it rather well. Kristofer is the one that was most concerning for me, he's the only one really old enough to totally understand what divorce means. Heaven doesn't understand the little things - like why he took the dog but didn't take the chew bone or water bowl. They still get upset and ask questions that will break your heart, but they are children and thus resilient. Our plans have been thrown in a pan and scrambled around. If you read my other blog you know that our basic plan was to buy some land down the road from my MIL and stay with her while we built a little house out of ISBU's... well we bought the land about 2 weeks ago, we had a 10 day 'grace period' if we wanted to get out... he had her served on our 11th day. Yea so basically we just pissed away $1,000... she couldn't afford to keep the house by herself and we didn't want to live down the street from him if he got the house... so blah! The best solution we could come up with is for us to live together until further notice. So we'll see how all of this goes ;-)

I've really slacked on the whole blog thing this week - I have a ton of pictures to post - my SPC and 365 SP, hopefully I'll get to that tonight... Saturday I did Race for the Cure, I just walked the 5k. Next year maybe I'll run it ;-) The one thing that did really get to me was how it was turned into a political event. Actually it really pissed me off. Here we are - 45k ladies gathered together to support the fight against breast cancer and celebrate those that have survived and some stupid people want to make it a political event?! Well truth be told it was all Obama supporters except for right in front of the Republican Headquarters - and no that didn't upset me near as much simply because 1) they were in front of their building and stayed on their sidewalk (not out in the street shoving papers in your face) and 2) they had a ton of signs that were supporting us (like GO PINK and We support the fight against breast cancer, Almost there, ect). The Obama supporters were just in your face and obviously there just for the politics without regard to WHY there was 45k women there. GRRR!!!! OK, I'll get off my rant now ;-)

After the race we went up to the farm for the annual mini-family reunion. Apparently I am still the outcast LOL!! I really don't understand why people are upset that we are having another baby when others "haven't even started". OK, well, nothing is stopping them LOL Well except for what everyone else thinks they should do... which obviously we don't have a problem ignoring ;-) I don't know, its just really weird being around a bunch of folks, some of which just really have issues with you and go out of their way to avoid you. Weird huh?

Oh well... I am going to get these photos uploaded and hopefully posted tonight :-) Have fun!

Self Portraits

2008-10-03T08:04:00.008-05:00

So a few weeks ago I ran across the Self Portrait Challenge and thought it would be a great idea to get back into the photography that I've lost touch with the last year. This month its Mirrors - so off to Flickr I go in search of mirror photos to get some sort of idea because the only thing that came to mind instantly was "Oh finally I can do belly shots and not feel vain about it!" LOL So in my quest I also ran across 365 Self Portrait Project. Oh that sounds fun too!!

Then I wonder why I was attracted to self portrait projects. I guess most people would think vanity was the obvious reason, I beg to differ. Yes, like most people I do have a bit of vanity. I really like many parts of my body and I am terrified of getting wrinkles. So much so that I started using anti-wrinkle cream at 20 years old as a preventative - yes I have since stopped, I figure the less I use it now the better it will work when I truly do have wrinkles and not just laugh lines. Yet at the same time I find I have a few flaws (or "character traits") that really do stop me from enjoying all that even I see as "right". Ever watched "How to Look Good Naked"?? The last episode I saw was an "A-ha" moment - maybe how I see myself is not how the world sees me. Maybe my flaws are only huge to me and they are not the first things that everyone else sees. Wouldn't that be crazy?? To think for 15 years I have been so self-conscious about certain things, only to look back at pictures from high school and think "WHAT in the world was I thinking?!" What if in another 10 years I look back and say that about my current body without being able to enjoy it now?? So my goal from this whole thing is to learn to love my body - to attempt to see it as the rest of the world sees it. Who knows maybe it really isn't as bad as I think it is...

Children

2008-09-28T09:46:00.005-05:00

How much influence does the world in general have on people I often wonder. How often do people just do what is expected, what is thought to be 'acceptable' instead of what they really want?? This has been on my mind more then normal lately. Probably mostly because I am pregnant with child #5. Five as we all know is "a ton" of children - my hands "are full", I'm "so busy", even "crazy" or apparently stupid for "not knowing what causes that". Here's a novel idea - maybe I'm not crazy. Maybe I know children are a blessing and not a burden?? Maybe I have more faith in God then someone else?? The latter I often question - is it faith?? It certainly does not make me 'better' then anyone else, we are all on our path! I can think of tons of people that have much stronger and deeper faith. I would like to think I have a strong faith, although I am not diligent about "constant prayer" or attending Church. At the same time, I know He will take care of us. So if I know I can count on Him to somehow provide whatever is needed so long as we are living mostly right (though yes I agree we have to work for it, its not just going to fall out of the sky LOL), I see it as only fitting that we trust Him to not give us more children then we can handle, right? I mean really, how silly does that sound - "We trust God to provide everything" or "God will never give more then we can handle"... oh but that doesn't apply to our fertility...?? Well that's only part of me. The other part of course still screams "BIOLOGY Linda, biology"!

There are many people right now that, well, to put it nicely, are not happy about our situation. Then there are others that are supportive, mostly citing "well you cant give it back" but desperately wanting us to "fix" the "problem". When last I checked, it was very apparent that nothing is "broken" therefore nothing to "fix". Its funny how if your fertile its a "problem to fix" and if your infertile its a "problem to fix". Guess it depends where you are on the spectrum to the "ideal" socially accepted 1.8 children. I panicked when we found out about this pregnancy. Last year was something I do not ever want to relive. While our chances of having another child with congestive heart defects is only 2%, our chance before was only 1%, and somehow we were "lucky" enough to get that draw. Does God think we are strong enough to handle that again?? I sure hope not - once in a lifetime is stressful enough!! So of course its been on my mind a lot - this issue of do we "fix" the fertility "problem". The first couple of months of this pregnancy it was a resounding yes, now of course I am having second thoughts.

Some people though, just completely and utterly confuse me. Maybe its because children are a personal favorite of mine ;-) I have never referred to an gestating child as a "growth" or "tumor" or "alien" - it is a babe, baby, s/he. I don't think they are a burden to endure, but a blessing to enjoy! I certainly do not think that you should wait until your "financially stable" to have one - obviously there are extremes, but I'm talking about those married couples that may be pinching pennies but are mostly stable. To be honest, I have yet to meet anyone, regardless of economic status, that can "afford" a child without sacrifices. Even the rich have to make changes (of course that's usually because they would buy a Ralph Lauren onsie at $35 instead of a 3 for $10 pack LOL!). Besides - layoffs happen, injuries happen - life happens, curves will be thrown, you can never completely prepare for everything. Instead, you do what you can, knowing somehow you will make it through whatever is thrown at you.

Then of course I have to laugh at all those people that are shocked we can "afford" 5 children. Well considering we breastfeed (saves at least $100/week) and I don't work (another $100/wk savings, that's the largest "costs" associated with a baby. Of course you can get on WIC and let the government pay for your child's formula and daycare costs, but that doesn't make any sense, you know since you should be "financially stable" to have a child, you shouldn't need taxpayers to pay for your child. Somehow though that's acceptable for the first 2 children, but after that you will get hell from people because they are "paying for your children"... if anyone could ever explain that where it actually makes sense... Just as a side note here - I have to say that taxpayers have not payed for my children until J's heart problem, at which time I am glad it was there for us and hope that people understand the circumstances.

OK, I'll end my rant here... obviously children are a hot topic for me. I love my children, I love being a mom, and I don't think its anyone's business what we do or how many we have until you take over and start paying our bills (which at times I would be more then happy to do LOL!)